Touch is essential. And because of that, Satan had robed it just like he tries to ruin everything good: sex, technology, family.......
A good family practices regular appropriate touch
Thursday, June 18, 2015
Sunday, June 14, 2015
I can be mean.. And I can stop
I used to lament over how another day had come and gone, and I wasn't perfect yet. And after YEARS of putting myself through the misery of self condemnation, I FINALLY came to the realization, and gratitude for the little moments. Those moments when I say "I'm Sorry." When I realize I was abusive or mean, and I let my ego take a hit and put the people I love first.
I have been VERY clear with My Husband and Children that we do NOT allow bullying in our home/Family. And it doesn't matter WHO it is. I am not allowed to bully. And neither are they. And I have 36 years of being how I am....good and bad ETCHED into every fiber of my being.
But I CAN change. Every second that I do better, it's something.
And so, I can make A moment BETTER, even if I can't make EVERY moment PERFECT.
I have been VERY clear with My Husband and Children that we do NOT allow bullying in our home/Family. And it doesn't matter WHO it is. I am not allowed to bully. And neither are they. And I have 36 years of being how I am....good and bad ETCHED into every fiber of my being.
But I CAN change. Every second that I do better, it's something.
And so, I can make A moment BETTER, even if I can't make EVERY moment PERFECT.
When I said enough
"Boundaries are healthy. You get to say who is welcome in your private spaces and how they are welcome there. They can choose to comply or they can choose to leave. If having them in your life is more important than this choice you will choose to make allowances for them."
This is so very true. And yet, the world we live in preaches entitlement. If I have it, you are entitled to it.
Being Empathic, I VERY seriously care about doing what I can to make those I want a relationship with as comfortable as possible.
Let me tell you, some people will NEVER be comfortable.
I exhibit ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) tendencies as well as PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) symptoms. There are NO words to tell you what it feels like in my head and body when my space or routine is violated.
The previous post shows a little bit of this.
To go back to the previous post for a moment, As I stated, I had a party.... gathering a few days ago. It was scheduled for 3 PM. At 2 PM, I had to go to the grocery store for snacks. I am used to almost NOBODY coming to my parties.... or gatherings. But I DID know a couple of people were coming. At 2:45, I got a message from Marianne asking if I was home. At the same time, I got a call from home saying that someone was knocking at the door. I told Elysia to open the door. I NEVER say that. But this time, I did. It was Marianne. When I returned home, right at 3, there were 4 Ladies in my home, plus Quintus, the neighbor boy.
This scenario would normally send me OVER THE EDGE. And yet, this time, it was easy to not stress. Because they were people who KNOW me and CARE about me. All shoes were left at the door because they KNEW that was the rule in my home. And they respected that as guests in my home, that was their obligation.
As opposed to a number of other people who repeatedly ask to leave their shoes on, or find a way around my rules.
Let me be very clear: The difference between a classy person and a not so classy person is whether they try to bend your house rules or accept them.
I have allowed some people to walk on my carpet.... something that makes me NUTS.... because I felt so sorry for them when I asked them to take off their shoes or not come in and they just wouldn't leave them at the door.
THE prime culprit is my FIL. And yet, I wanted his acceptance. I wanted a relationship with him. And I would compensate later by becoming INCREDIBLY OCD as I would clean up after his visit.
It took me over 12 years of sacrificing my boundaries in exchange for an ATTEMPT at acceptance. An acceptance that NEVER came.
And so now, I enforce boundaries. Because they protect Me and MY FAMILY, And WE are our most important asset,
This is so very true. And yet, the world we live in preaches entitlement. If I have it, you are entitled to it.
Being Empathic, I VERY seriously care about doing what I can to make those I want a relationship with as comfortable as possible.
Let me tell you, some people will NEVER be comfortable.
I exhibit ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) tendencies as well as PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) symptoms. There are NO words to tell you what it feels like in my head and body when my space or routine is violated.
The previous post shows a little bit of this.
To go back to the previous post for a moment, As I stated, I had a party.... gathering a few days ago. It was scheduled for 3 PM. At 2 PM, I had to go to the grocery store for snacks. I am used to almost NOBODY coming to my parties.... or gatherings. But I DID know a couple of people were coming. At 2:45, I got a message from Marianne asking if I was home. At the same time, I got a call from home saying that someone was knocking at the door. I told Elysia to open the door. I NEVER say that. But this time, I did. It was Marianne. When I returned home, right at 3, there were 4 Ladies in my home, plus Quintus, the neighbor boy.
This scenario would normally send me OVER THE EDGE. And yet, this time, it was easy to not stress. Because they were people who KNOW me and CARE about me. All shoes were left at the door because they KNEW that was the rule in my home. And they respected that as guests in my home, that was their obligation.
As opposed to a number of other people who repeatedly ask to leave their shoes on, or find a way around my rules.
Let me be very clear: The difference between a classy person and a not so classy person is whether they try to bend your house rules or accept them.
I have allowed some people to walk on my carpet.... something that makes me NUTS.... because I felt so sorry for them when I asked them to take off their shoes or not come in and they just wouldn't leave them at the door.
THE prime culprit is my FIL. And yet, I wanted his acceptance. I wanted a relationship with him. And I would compensate later by becoming INCREDIBLY OCD as I would clean up after his visit.
It took me over 12 years of sacrificing my boundaries in exchange for an ATTEMPT at acceptance. An acceptance that NEVER came.
And so now, I enforce boundaries. Because they protect Me and MY FAMILY, And WE are our most important asset,
How you know...
I had a Norwex party the other day. 6 of my closest Friends came. Norwex is a contaminant free cleaning product company. To demonstrate how well the products work, the consultant rubbed raw chicken on my dining room table. And EVERY person in that room turned and looked at me with the "How is she going to handle it" look. Every single lady in that room KNEW it was that "Ack" thing for me.
That's how you know you're TRULY among Friends. When they know EXACTLY who you are. And STILL show up!!! ♥♥♥
Truth vs Kindness
As Oh, from the Movie "Home" says: " A lie is a bad thing. I did a thing so you can live."
That, to me is the difference between a lie and a necessity. I do NOT lie. I can, however adapt.
Many may stick with the "If you can't say anything nice...." adage. However, is it wise to not speak the truth to be "kind"?
In the Book of Mormon, 1 Nephi 16:2 and 3 say:
2 And it came to pass that I said unto them that I knew that I had spoken hard things against the wicked, according to the truth; and the righteous have I justified, and testified that they should be lifted up at the last day; wherefore, the guilty taketh the truth to be hard, for it cutteth them to the very center.
3 And now my brethren, if ye were righteous and were willing to hearken to the truth, and give heed unto it, that ye might walk uprightly before God, then ye would not murmur because of the truth, and say: Thou speakest hard things against us.
One thing you HAVE to know about people who habitually, even compulsively speak the truth, is that they often don't have a filter that tells them if it's kind or not. That DOESN'T mean they will blurt out that you're ugly. But if it's TRUE and not derogatory, they don't see the need to mince words. They often feel that editing is doing the other person a disservice.
SO, just because it's true, doesn't mean it's "kind". And just because it's "unkind", doesn't make it unnecessary.
"We are quickly becoming a sick and twisted culture both nationally and even globally. I get endlessly attacked and mocked for stating that simple truth, but I guess the truth hurts. There is certainly no disputing that obvious fact as far as I am concerned." Dave "the Sage" (Look him up on FB, he's awesome)
"We are quickly becoming a sick and twisted culture both nationally and even globally. I get endlessly attacked and mocked for stating that simple truth, but I guess the truth hurts. There is certainly no disputing that obvious fact as far as I am concerned." Dave "the Sage" (Look him up on FB, he's awesome)
Monday, June 8, 2015
Thursday, June 4, 2015
The Name Game
Harder than you think! Every answer must start with the first letter of your first name!
First name : Candace
An animal: cayote
A boys name: Caleb
A girls name: Cassie
An occupation: Cook
A color: cyan
Something you wear: coat
A drink: coke
A type of food: chips
Something found in the bathroom: comb
A place: Canada
A reason for being late: coma
Something you shout out: COME HERE
First name : Candace
An animal: cayote
A boys name: Caleb
A girls name: Cassie
An occupation: Cook
A color: cyan
Something you wear: coat
A drink: coke
A type of food: chips
Something found in the bathroom: comb
A place: Canada
A reason for being late: coma
Something you shout out: COME HERE
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
