Come Holy Ghost

Come... Holy Ghost
Abide inside with me
Let's look, out my windows
Show me what I need to see
Point and I will go
Oh, I will follow Thee
Come... Holy Ghost
Abide inside with me

Lets decorate my mind
With thoughts, Divine
We'll set a guard at my heart
To keep my mouth, in line
We'll receive our directions
From the Holy Throne above
Oh, Come... Holy Ghost
Teach me to walk in love.

Come... Holy Ghost
Abide inside with me
Let's look, out my windows
Show me what I need to see
Point and I will go
Oh, I will follow Thee
Come... Holy Ghost
Abide inside with me
~ Thomas Eugene Hudson ~

Support me. Believe in me.

I have really struggled with the support/lack of I receive from the people I am close to. My Mom, and David are so supportive..... SOMETIMES.

My Mom fascinates me. I don't think she has any idea what kind of a difference it would make if she had a little more faith in me. We were talking tonight for the 1st time in almost a week (since I told her I was going to the Passion Party and she got all "judgmental" on me). And I dropped the "bomb" that I KNOW she hates. Why, I don't understand. But it doesn't matter if it's the 1st or 5th Child. But I told her I want to get pregnant again.

Now, I KNOW I'm not the World's Best Mom. But I also know that I am FAR from the worst. I LOVE My Children. They KNOW I love them. I am upfront and honest about what I feel and think..... but even beyond that. I make SURE that I show them every day. I tell them that I am not perfect, but that I love them and will no matter what. I don't withhold affection. I dote on them.... TO them. I expect them to treat each other and others with respect, and despite my imperfections, I try really hard to set the example. There is NOTHING that I do that doesn't have their best interest in mind. I believe that for the most part, they all fell safe, loved, appreciated, and that they are in an environment where they can be THEM and feel secure in that.

And with our belief system, I feel like there are more Children meant for our Family.

And My Mom of all people SHOULD understand that. And it'd be different if this was how she reacted after I'd had a few. But she reacted this exact same way when it was Elizabeth I was announcing my pregnancy with.

Then there's David. He is so perfect for me when we're getting along. But he resists change... even though he says he wants it.

When we separated and ultimately divorced, he was really fighting me on the whole food storage thing. And now, he's a firm believer. He's currently SERIOUSLY resisting the schedule idea. I have no doubt that in time he'll come to see the benefits. Just as he did the food storage.

I am a dreamer. I am a striver. I see things in the future that I WANT, and I begin working for them. As I've said before, my "Good Luck" follows an "If you build it, it will come" pattern. So I have learned to "dress for the job I want" rather than be satisfied dressing for the "job I have." I love My Family, and I want them to have the best chance for success in ALL the attempt.

Our House

We just spoke to Laramie, the Realtor handling the house in Tooele. It turns out that the family selling the house is signing papers to Lease it to someone for 2 years. We have to have a pre approval in hand by June 1st if we want to buy it.... which is what they prefer to do. So, if David gets this job in Alaska, and we have an actual offer from them by the 21st of May, we might actually have a chance. Otherwise, we can pretty much let it go and look elsewhere.

I know it's just a house. And I truly want what God has in mind for Our Family. Because I KNOW He cares, and knows best. But I have so many plans and dreams that work so well with this house that I can't even imagine finding one more perfect for us. And I really will be truly sad if we have to find a different house to turn into our home.

The Beginning of the End and other thoughts on my Beliefs from this week

Next week is Easter. For us "Mormons" it is also General Conference. This is a 2 day event where we spend from 10 am until Noon, and then 2 pm until 4 pm each day (Saturday and Sunday) listening to those we consider our Religious Leaders (we refer to them as General Authorities.)

This particular General Conference eludes to be significant. I believe that this past week has marked a significant point in history with the Health care Bill passed by Congress. I only know a little about the exact details of the Bill. However, what I have learned leads me to believe that this Bill is more or less Unconstitutional.

For Members of the LDS Church who know their "Church History" and the things that have been written by Our Leaders throughout the past 2 centuries, this is a key point in what we believe will transpire prior to "The End of the World." ( I am using a lot of general terms.... I am not a "doomsday/apocalypse/end of existence" type of person)

Here's what I'm getting at: I believe that this is the beginning of "The End." The end of what exactly, I do not know. But I do believe that "The End" will encompass the America that we know changing DRASTICALLY. The History of the world shows several time frames where things have happened similar to how things are happening right now. The United States of America are at a point where other countries have been at one time or another. And in all of the other instances the outcome was a complete breakdown before things were rebuilt. And when they were rebuilt it was always as a completely different country.... or multiple countries.

Anyway it happens we are basically guaranteed that this situation we are currently in is going to decline. And eventually be drastic.

There are Scholars out there who have believed for some time now that it will be a complete break down resulting in a Civil War and eventually the United States will be divided and separated into several different Countries' territories.

However you choose to view it. It looks like a good time to take into consideration the things written in the "Book Of Revelations" (New Testament of the Bible.)

One thing David and I have discussed recently is that it speaks of the "Mark of the Beast in their hands and on their foreheads."

Throughout my life, I have come to understand through the teachings I have received, that this will entail some sort of mandatory bar coding system insisted upon by the government. In Revelations, John warns against accepting this system. As David and I were discussing this the other day, he commented that he believes that many of our Faith, who know the warning will still choose to comply. Let this be my "Two Cents" that those of you who believe in the "Book of Revelations" consider the warning it contains if this scenario ever arises.

In the mean time this is a good time to take Food Storage very seriously. Also make sure for those of you who are LDS, that you ARE paying your tithing.

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Another thing I want to touch on quickly is "Keeping the Sabbath Day Holy." Many view it as specific to "Mormons." However, it is in fact one of the original 10 Commandments, dating back in Christian Beliefs AND Non Christian Beliefs to Moses.

I have been working really hard the past month or so to take this to heart, and use the "Sabbath" which for us is Sunday, as a day of rest. I do not do laundry or any cleaning (beyond basic maintenance) on Sunday, if I can help it. I try to get the grocery shopping, laundry and cleaning done by the time I go to bed Saturday night so that Sunday can be a peaceful day.

I don't know how much it has helped us as a Family. However, I do know that in light of David's recent escalation in outbursts, I believe it to be the reason that I am able to remain calmer, and handle the situation rationally and without loosing control myself.

Not knowing when to leave well enough alone

Ok, so Adam Peeples just sent me yet another message. The one he sent earlier was pleasant enough. The message I sent back to him was courteous, and simply stated that I had never meant anything malicious and had simply stood up for what I believed in. In his first message, he requested that I call him. I don't know how many of you know this, but I don't like to talk to ANYONE on the phone except a VERY select few Friends and Family. I prefer to text or email. I think a lot of you are the same way.

I thanked him for the invitation to call, and told him that I prefer not to speak on the phone.

I believe that Adam is a manipulator. And I know from past experience that it is MUCH easier to manipulate someone on the phone than in a written message. I believe that is exactly why he wanted to speak on the phone. (I could go on and on on that topic ;-)

I told him that I was not a spy for his Ex Wife, in fact I had NEVER met her. And never planned to.

He told me what a nightmare being married to her was. I said that I understood, and was glad he was rid of that in his life.

What he was prolly hoping I would say was that I was wrong about what I said about him, and that I would retract it. However, instead, I told him that I stand behind what I believe in.

This was not what he wanted to hear.

The last message he sent to me was angry, accusing, and all about how much damage I had done to his campaign over a personal vendetta.

My Post on here is the only thing I have EVER said about him except ONE status on FB that said "Every time I see his name I want to scream." So this "post" is what he is referring to.... which btw, YES, I sent it to everyone I could think of who might vote in his District. But it is not slandering. It doesn't even reference his personal life or his Family (except as people I went to to learn the truth.) It simply states that I believe based on personal experience, that he is a bad choice for the office he is running for.

Something he has obviously missed in all of this, is that when you get into politics, you open yourself up to criticism. Your personal life is no longer private. Everything is fair game. That's just how it is. What I have said is prolly very near the bottom of the worst he will have said about him before he actually achieves his goal of being elected to a public office.

I told him in response that I stand behind what I have said, and that I have done nothing but my duty as an American Citizen. I have stood up to keep those I feel are a poor choice to represent me and those I love out of office.

He told me that he still pays tithing to the LDS Church (even though he has renounced his belief in that same church). I informed him that I couldn't care less if he pays tithing. What I care about is how he treats people.

He said that the damage I have created is already done, and that it hasn't benefited anyone. I told him that It HAS benefited me and the ones I love because A) I stood behind what I believe, B) I refused to stay silent while yet another poor choice was elected to represent me and my freedoms, and C) I have obviously accomplished what I set out to do: He wouldn't be so upset if no one was willing to listen to what I had to say. Obviously what I have to say is upsetting his chances of winning or else I am just a pest to ignore ;-). People are listening to me. And he doesn't like it.

His first message was an attempt to save face. And when I graciously declined his "invitation" to play HIS way, he got Angry! GOOD! Then I have achieved the goal I set out to reach. I have made my voice heard. It has become stronger, and I can hold my head up a bit higher.

When somone offends us

Something that was mentioned to me the other day, is that often when somone gets offended by something we say, or I guess really takes something we say as critical, it is usually because they fear the truth in it. They may already think poorly of themselves in that aspect, and so obviously your "confirming" that they contain this flaw. It's like Laman and Lemuel in the Book of Mormon. They didn't like what they heard from God or Nephi and Lehi, because they knew it was true... or that they truly DID have things that they needed to change about themselves.

People who refuse to come back to church because someone said something that "offended" them are a good example of this. Let me tell you, if I were to stop going to church because someone said something that "Offended" me, I'd have gone inactive.... and prolly left completely YEARS ago.

However, I believe that I am the kind of person that can take what someone says, and pull the constructive part out and use it to become a better "Me," and then throw the rest away.... thereby going on with my life without any serious damage being done by ignorant people.

It's like the situation with Adam Peeples. He said things to me, that after examination, I could use to improve the person I am. My problem with him is not that he said things to me I didn't like. It is because he is a hypocrit.... he wanted to hang me for "crimes" he himself is "guilty" of. It's the core of who he is that offends me, vs the words he has said to me. And even so, I would prolly have left it at simply disliking him, if he were an individual. But he then decided to run for office. And I'm sorry, but we have enough garbage in the political system as it is. As a God Fearing American, if I don't stand up for what I believe in when I see a politician further trying to corrupt the system, then I cannot complain when they change the way things are and I don't like the country I live in. So that is my reasoning there. NOT because he said something I didn't like.... but because he is threatening my home with the yuckiness that permeates him to the core.

Which brings me to the flipside of being offended.

There are those times, when we are honest with ourselves, and we a in tune with our SOULS, that something truly offends us...... our core, not our ears. These are the things that we SHOULD act to remove from our lives. Not to get overly religious, but just as Jesus overturned the Money Changers' tables in the New Testament. This was something that offended his Soul, not his ears or his ego.

We should be secure and in tune with ourselves to be able to REALLY turn our back on the things that offend our Souls. And at the same time secure and confident enough with ourselves to push through the stuff that offends our ears and ego, taking what we need to be better from it, and throwing out the rest.

One other point I want to make with this: If someone like Adam were to come to me, and sincerely be different and willing to make a go at being Friends, I would never turn my back on him. It is his actions, not HIM that I have a problem with. There are a few others that fit into this category. Jesus made it a point to have a problem with the sin not the "sinner". I try to do the same. I do not hold grudges. I do however believe in protecting myself and the ones I love from getting "hit by the same truck over and over."

DO NOT VOTE FOR ADAM PEEPLES!!!!!

All of you Wonderful Magna Residents (or ANYONE in District 22) PLEASE do not vote for Adam Peeples in the upcoming election! Trust me, he is NOT the person he was in High School, and I Believe he is a VERY bad choice to represent the People of Utah!

If he was running as a Democrat. Or even a Liberal, it might be totally different! However, he is not. He is running as a Conservative Republican. His views are not Conservative AT ALL!!!!!! which means that he does not have the same view on things that he is advertising or as the people he is wanting to represent. The problem with this is a simple conflict of interest. He will represent what HE believes. Period. And if it is not the same as what the people he represents believe, then THEY, not HE are just out of luck.

He advertises that if you know him, then you know what he believes. And if you don't, then ask around. Well, I THOUGHT I knew him, but what I KNOW he believes is NOT what conservative Utahns believe. And what I was unclear on, I DID ask around. And have been harrassed, and attacked for it. I even went to people who could give me the truth vs gossip.... his Fiance, and Sister. And was accused of being a "Spy" for his ex wife... who I have NEVER met. When I finally got a chance to speak to HIM, after being shunned for a few YEARS, I told him that I meant no harm.... simply wanted to know the facts from the fiction (I had heard a lot of gossip, and wanted to know the truth.) Now, I have lost several friends for an honest mistake.... or really no mistake, I was simply asking for truth, NOT PASSING ON GOSSIP.

You DO NOT want Adam representing you! He will not tell you the truth. He will not represent YOUR ideals. And he will try to shut up or shut out ANYONE who tries to learn more than he wants people to know. This is fine for an individual. NOT for someone who is supposed to be representing YOUR Honest Christian values and virtues!