So, since I posted all about yesterday, without a conclusion after going to bed last night: It turns out that I was arrested over $25. I had overlooked the last $25 on a fine from a year and a half ago.
The other $296, was a collection, and a Civil Matter. Not why I was arrested. We still had to pay it, but really, we paid it for our peace of mind, not because that was what it was going to take for me to go home. It was a collection that put our van at risk (stupid though it was) and so since my mom provided the $, we paid it off.
The Court, it turns out will give you $15 credit toward fines for every day that you are in jail. So, the judge gave me credit for yesterday, and today (even though I was technically only there 1 full day (from last night till this afternoon)equalling $30 which wiped out the $25. So that was just completely dropped and around 12:30 this afternoon, I got my stuff, and walked out of there. (With permission of course ;-)
STUPID! Which is why I Hate the system... but that's a topic for another time!
Certainly NOT worth the emotional and mental stress it put on me and my Family. It turns out the paper (the actual Warrant) even said that I could just pay the $25 and didn't have to appear before the judge... ergo, I did Not need to be arrested.
Oh well, right.
Tonight we have the peace of mind that comes with knowing we're a bit more squared away than yesterday, so.....
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
OMG
I have a new song on my Playlist. It is by Usher and called OMG. It is actually Oh My GOSH. NOT.... well, you know what I'm saying. So, if you hear it, or see the title, before you judge it too harshly, really listen, and you will hear the "Sh" at the end ;-) It's a pretty good song.
** - My explanation on my HORROR at the idea of going to Jail
THIS POST MAKES MORE SENSE IF YOU READ THE PREVIOUS POST What a Day FIRST.
*****************************************************
I have always handled myself relatively calmly in the exact same situation in the past. I mean what good does it really do to struggle. Then you just end up in a worse situation because they start tacking on things like "Resisting Arrest," "Failure to Comply," etc. And then, should your initial charges turn out to be nothing, as was the case with me.... because I truly hadn't DONE anything, you're stuck because you've made you situation into something where there was originally nothing.
And I CANNOT describe to you what going to jail does to me mentally and emotionally. I fight for the purpose of staying WITH my Children. My whole purpose in the part I played in past incidents was to KEEP MY Children WITH ME. SO to then be taken away from them is very traumatic for me. Jail is not prison. Jail is not the end of the world. However, let me tell you what Jail IS. It is a place where once you are there, you have almost NO control over what happens to your life next. The Sheriff's Department, Lawyers, etc... Basically the "System" now controls you life.
And I understand this.... for the reason of enforcing the law, this makes sense.
But here is what happens. An Officer of the Law decides you need to be taken into custody for whatever reason. At that point your only real option is compliance whether they are right or wrong. They come up with a "reason" for why they are taking you into custody, and from this point on, it is your whole purpose in life to either accept this, or attempt to prove them wrong. Then the time continuum becomes part of the Twilight Zone. If you are arrested on a weekday (besides Friday) chances are you will go to court the next day to hear from the judge what you are being charged with. However, the Judge may call in the next day and that means you will not go until the day after that. If you are unfortunate enough to be arrested on a Friday, Saturady or Holiday... well, you get to wait until court is in session next. Meanwhile, you are NOT guaranteed a phone call. The whole thing about "My One Phone Call," is all movie generated. If they are busy or cranky in the booking area, you are just SOL. Meanwhile you are in a Holding Cell.... or basically the first of many stages of a Purgatory like existence. Once you are booked into jail (fingerprinted, mug shots, etc.) which can take HOURS, they have you change into "their" clothes (which means removing EVERYTHING you were already wearing including underwear or Garments (In FRONT of a guard of the same gender). Then, they send you to your cell. And at that point there are NO phones except the kind that require either a calling card or for you to make a collect call.
A calling card can only be acquired by filling out a request on paper, PLUS this can only be done if you either came in with money or someone puts money in your "account".... You get the chance once a day to do this (fill out the request). And if you have missed that chance, you have to wait to fill out your request until the next day. After you turn in the request, it takes approx. 1 day to get the calling card. So, for the first 24 to 48 hours, you have 2 options if you want to contact ANYONE: Beg calling card usage off of someone who has been there long enough to have one.... who you prolly have never seen before in your life, or be lucky enough to have someone who you can call collect.... which is expensive through their system ($50 for 15 minutes).
They will let you know if the Bail request you filled out upon entering the Jail has been granted, and how much that bail is.... when they get around to it. But in order for anyone on the outside to get the information you either have to call them (via the methods already discussed) or they have to periodically check in with the Jail. If you are one of the lucky few who came into the jail with over $50 (or an ATM/Debit Card), this is easy... and you might get to go home immediately. If you have to, you can call a Bondsman, and if you already have the amount of $ the Bondsman requires to help you, your home free until your decided court date (they will tell you this as you leave).
They will let you know when you are going to court... when they get around to it. But in order for anyone on the outside to get the information you either have to call them (via the methods already discussed) or they have to periodically check in with the Jail.
Once you get to court...for some it is a day, for others, Yes, it can actually be a week or more depending on your circumstances... You then are presented with your charges, what they mean and allowed to plead guilty or not. It is actually easier to plead guilty that not. Once you have plead guilty, you are sentenced, and you leave the court to either go back to jail to fulfill you sentence, or home. If you plead NOT Guilty, you then have to go through whether you can provide your own attorney, or if you need one appointed to you through the State. Then they have to set Bail until your next court date. This is actually the most painful part. You see, although you are "Innocent until proven Guilty," they base your bail amount on how likely you are to run or how big of a threat they believe you pose to society between the present and your next court date. You are then taken back to Jail until your Bail is paid to the court by either you (or someone representing you) or a Bondsman. That can be a matter of hours, days, or weeks.
Of course, the biggest reasons for the amount of trauma this situation causes me are that I am not one who is fortunate enough to have the $50 + available to me on the spot, and some major effort goes into acquiring the amount required to Bail me out as well as getting me a calling card. And the fact that I am isolated from My Husband and Children until further notice.
*****************************************************
I have always handled myself relatively calmly in the exact same situation in the past. I mean what good does it really do to struggle. Then you just end up in a worse situation because they start tacking on things like "Resisting Arrest," "Failure to Comply," etc. And then, should your initial charges turn out to be nothing, as was the case with me.... because I truly hadn't DONE anything, you're stuck because you've made you situation into something where there was originally nothing.
And I CANNOT describe to you what going to jail does to me mentally and emotionally. I fight for the purpose of staying WITH my Children. My whole purpose in the part I played in past incidents was to KEEP MY Children WITH ME. SO to then be taken away from them is very traumatic for me. Jail is not prison. Jail is not the end of the world. However, let me tell you what Jail IS. It is a place where once you are there, you have almost NO control over what happens to your life next. The Sheriff's Department, Lawyers, etc... Basically the "System" now controls you life.
And I understand this.... for the reason of enforcing the law, this makes sense.
But here is what happens. An Officer of the Law decides you need to be taken into custody for whatever reason. At that point your only real option is compliance whether they are right or wrong. They come up with a "reason" for why they are taking you into custody, and from this point on, it is your whole purpose in life to either accept this, or attempt to prove them wrong. Then the time continuum becomes part of the Twilight Zone. If you are arrested on a weekday (besides Friday) chances are you will go to court the next day to hear from the judge what you are being charged with. However, the Judge may call in the next day and that means you will not go until the day after that. If you are unfortunate enough to be arrested on a Friday, Saturady or Holiday... well, you get to wait until court is in session next. Meanwhile, you are NOT guaranteed a phone call. The whole thing about "My One Phone Call," is all movie generated. If they are busy or cranky in the booking area, you are just SOL. Meanwhile you are in a Holding Cell.... or basically the first of many stages of a Purgatory like existence. Once you are booked into jail (fingerprinted, mug shots, etc.) which can take HOURS, they have you change into "their" clothes (which means removing EVERYTHING you were already wearing including underwear or Garments (In FRONT of a guard of the same gender). Then, they send you to your cell. And at that point there are NO phones except the kind that require either a calling card or for you to make a collect call.
A calling card can only be acquired by filling out a request on paper, PLUS this can only be done if you either came in with money or someone puts money in your "account".... You get the chance once a day to do this (fill out the request). And if you have missed that chance, you have to wait to fill out your request until the next day. After you turn in the request, it takes approx. 1 day to get the calling card. So, for the first 24 to 48 hours, you have 2 options if you want to contact ANYONE: Beg calling card usage off of someone who has been there long enough to have one.... who you prolly have never seen before in your life, or be lucky enough to have someone who you can call collect.... which is expensive through their system ($50 for 15 minutes).
They will let you know if the Bail request you filled out upon entering the Jail has been granted, and how much that bail is.... when they get around to it. But in order for anyone on the outside to get the information you either have to call them (via the methods already discussed) or they have to periodically check in with the Jail. If you are one of the lucky few who came into the jail with over $50 (or an ATM/Debit Card), this is easy... and you might get to go home immediately. If you have to, you can call a Bondsman, and if you already have the amount of $ the Bondsman requires to help you, your home free until your decided court date (they will tell you this as you leave).
They will let you know when you are going to court... when they get around to it. But in order for anyone on the outside to get the information you either have to call them (via the methods already discussed) or they have to periodically check in with the Jail.
Once you get to court...for some it is a day, for others, Yes, it can actually be a week or more depending on your circumstances... You then are presented with your charges, what they mean and allowed to plead guilty or not. It is actually easier to plead guilty that not. Once you have plead guilty, you are sentenced, and you leave the court to either go back to jail to fulfill you sentence, or home. If you plead NOT Guilty, you then have to go through whether you can provide your own attorney, or if you need one appointed to you through the State. Then they have to set Bail until your next court date. This is actually the most painful part. You see, although you are "Innocent until proven Guilty," they base your bail amount on how likely you are to run or how big of a threat they believe you pose to society between the present and your next court date. You are then taken back to Jail until your Bail is paid to the court by either you (or someone representing you) or a Bondsman. That can be a matter of hours, days, or weeks.
Of course, the biggest reasons for the amount of trauma this situation causes me are that I am not one who is fortunate enough to have the $50 + available to me on the spot, and some major effort goes into acquiring the amount required to Bail me out as well as getting me a calling card. And the fact that I am isolated from My Husband and Children until further notice.
What a Day!!!!!
Yesterday was a very interesting day!
Let me paint a picture for you:
David had to take care of some things in Rock Springs. He had an 8:00 am appointment that he had to be to, and decided to take care of all of the RS stuff in one trip to save on gas.
The past few months, with David not working, he has been handling the mornings around here. I get more done after the kids are in bed, so I have been taking advantage of David being home and have been staying up late to get things done, and then sleeping in. I also have a somewhat weak immune system that has been something I have struggled with a lot recently.... in a nutshell, I've been sick a lot lately. ;-) So, another good reason to take advantage of David being home and able to take the "morning shift."
With David leaving at 7:30 am, it was my turn to take care of the Kids when they got up. (well, I mean since technically that is still my job ;-)
I got up when Jacob woke up around 8:30. The Girls were up just after he was. I got everyone changed, fed, and busy playing, and got on the computer. Stephanie Fleming told me that she was thinking of coming to GR to go to the park... so we planned for 1:00 pm, and I set to work getting everyone ready and asked David to be home to pick us up at 12:30.
We were ready to go right on time. David took the Children out to put them in the van. I heard a car pull up but didn't think too much of it.
A few minutes later, I walked out to find a Woman from the Sheriff's Department talking to David. He said, "Candace, this Woman has something for you." She is someone we have seen before.... a couple of years ago, we had a string of incidents that have long since been resolved. So there are a few Legal Figures (GRPD, Sheriff's Department, Judge, Clerks, etc) that we have become acquainted with, and she is one of them.
She Served me with a document telling me that I owed a sum of $ (under $400) to a collection agency, and that because of this, they were claiming the right to seize my personal property to pay the debt... specifically the van (Which is technically MINE, and valued at an amount a bit higher than $400)
David, trying to protect me from having to deal with her and what ever she was wanting with me, had told her I was not home. I, not knowing that she was even here, let alone that he had told her I was not home, walked out the door right in the middle of his talking to her.
She gave me the paper, told me I might want to look into it, and got into her car.
David then told me what had taken place. His intentions were Gold despite how the situation turned out.
We then went to the park to meet up with Stephanie, Nicole, and Ashley. With the van being our sole mode of transportation, I was very stressed over the thought that they might try to take it... we own it free and clear, thereby eliminating the possibility that it can be repoed. The Park Date was perfect for taking my mind off of the problem. We stayed at the park until around 4:00 pm.
I then called my mom to gripe about the van situation. Commenting that as my blog says, "You can't make this "Stuff" up." And that this sort of stuff only seems to happen to me.
We got home; fed, bathed, and got the Children to bed; and got ourselves showered. I had just gotten out of the shower, and we were discussing what WE (David and I) were going to eat(it is normal routine here for us to get the children fed and to bed and THEN eat dinner ourselves (just easier sometimes.)
Elizabeth has had problems the past few weeks with doing what she's supposed to when she's in the bedroom that she shares with her sisters. So we have started getting the other 2 Girls to bed, and then Elizabeth comes downstairs with us and sits on the couch basically until she falls asleep.
So, Elizabeth was sitting on the couch, Jacob and the other 2 Girls were in their beds, and I was on the computer. Jacob started crying, so David was getting him a bottle. Someone knocked on our door.
Now let me just tell you: it may sound a little bit paranoid but due to our past experiences, we do not answer our door unless we are expecting someone. And we were not expecting anyone.
David looked out and said "It's someone from the Sheriff's Department." We haven't been breaking any laws, and figured that they were there to give us the same paperwork we had received earlier from the Woman.
So, we ignored them. David went upstairs to take care of Jacob.
I felt that it was a good idea to take Elizabeth upstairs too until they left.
As I was walking her up the stairs, the front door, which was unlocked, opened, and a Man said "Candace?"
I came back downstairs, and went to the front door where two large MALE Sheriff's Deputies were waiting. They made sure I was "Candace" and then one of them said "Can you get some shoes on and step outside, we have some papers to discuss with you."
I am not proud of this, and it's from a period where things were a disaster between David and I, but I went to jail a few times right before our divorce. And have not only vowed to NEVER go back, but when David and I decided to get remarried, I made him SWEAR to me that I would never again be placed in a situation because of his actions where I would go to jail.
So when they asked me to come outside, I said "OK, but I'm not going anywhere." To which they replied "Yes. You are."
I asked them "Why?" and they informed me that I had 2 Warrants out for my arrest. I told them that was impossible. Rather than explaining anything further than that a designated amount of $ was involved and that they were both described as "Failure to Pay," they just kept insisting I put my shoes on and come with them.
David and Jacob had come downstairs and were observing from the living room (which is directly off of the kitchen) where Elizabeth was.
I immediately went into panic mode.** (I KNEW I hadn't done anything wrong, and David and I haven't had a knock down, drag out fight since the divorce. I learned my lesson over a year ago and my temper has gotten WELL under control since our past experiences.) And backed up to be more in the kitchen where I felt "safe."
They entered the kitchen (Our town house's front door open up into the kitchen, so that is the first room you enter), and proceeded to say things like "Don't make this harder than it has to be," and "You have to come with us, so please put your shoes on." I hadn't eaten and honestly began to black out due to the combination of stress and low blood sugar. Meanwhile, one of the Officers actually located my shoes and put them right in front of my feet for me to put on.
I asked them if I could make some phone calls with them right there to attempt to get the $ so I didn't have to go with them. They informed me that I had to come with them, and that David could then take care of the phone calls and securing the $ and then bring it over to the Jail. I told them I hadn't eaten, and they said that would be addressed at the Jail.
They asked me to cooperate so that they didn't have to make a scene in front of My Children (I did not know Elizabeth had come down the stairs and was in the living room). I told them I was not trying to be difficult but that I was not ok with going with them under the vague circumstances. They threatened to put me on the ground to cuff me if needs be. At one point I am pretty sure I even saw the more vocal AND obnoxious of the 2 put his hand on the snap of the harness for his taser.
I told them that I KNEW that once I got to the Jail, I would have no contact with anyone. They told me that if I stopped giving them a hard time, they would make sure I got a phone call to David as soon as I was done being processed into the Jail.
I conceded finally. And asked David if he had a plan. He told me he did, so I put my sandals on (that they had placed in front of my feet) and walked out the door. As soon as we were outside, I was handcuffed TIGHTLY, and placed in a Big White SUV.
I Cried and snotted non stop all the way to the Sweetwater County Jail which is about 10 miles East of GR.
About half way there I made another comment about having not eaten, and that I knew dinner was long over. The officer driving me told me that he would make sure I got SOMETHING to eat once we got there.
I continued to quietly cry and snot in the back seat.
When we got into the jail, a Female Guard came out to meet us and "collect" me. She asked me how I was... this of course was answered by me with a fresh wave of tears and embarrassing snotting. The Officer told her that I was a bit emotional.
He got me into the Jail, turned me over, mentioned the phone call to the other Officers, and left. Never ONCE saying ANYTHING to ANYONE about my needing to eat.
Meanwhile Poor David was trying to help Elizabeth deal with the situation, take care of Jacob, and get the $ together to get me out before I had to spend the night. However, it was already after 9:30 pm.
I got booked in and processed relatively quickly. The Officers handling everything were very nice and Friendly which of course helped. Then I was allowed to call David. I was about the only one to come in last night, so I was able to talk to David and even Elizabeth for almost 25 minutes. David and I were able to discuss the situation, and he told me that at 9:00 am, my mom could have the $322 it was going to take to satisfy the situation so that I could leave. We decided that there was prolly no chance of me getting out before having to spend the night, and that was bearable.
I got off of the phone with him, was taken to "dress" (change my clothes), and then sent to my cell to go to bed. It was after 10:30 pm.
I had a "roomie" who had already claimed the bottom bunk, so I made up my top bunk, and climbed up for a LONG very restless night with little sleep.
** = Explanation of my Panic on the post that follows
Let me paint a picture for you:
David had to take care of some things in Rock Springs. He had an 8:00 am appointment that he had to be to, and decided to take care of all of the RS stuff in one trip to save on gas.
The past few months, with David not working, he has been handling the mornings around here. I get more done after the kids are in bed, so I have been taking advantage of David being home and have been staying up late to get things done, and then sleeping in. I also have a somewhat weak immune system that has been something I have struggled with a lot recently.... in a nutshell, I've been sick a lot lately. ;-) So, another good reason to take advantage of David being home and able to take the "morning shift."
With David leaving at 7:30 am, it was my turn to take care of the Kids when they got up. (well, I mean since technically that is still my job ;-)
I got up when Jacob woke up around 8:30. The Girls were up just after he was. I got everyone changed, fed, and busy playing, and got on the computer. Stephanie Fleming told me that she was thinking of coming to GR to go to the park... so we planned for 1:00 pm, and I set to work getting everyone ready and asked David to be home to pick us up at 12:30.
We were ready to go right on time. David took the Children out to put them in the van. I heard a car pull up but didn't think too much of it.
A few minutes later, I walked out to find a Woman from the Sheriff's Department talking to David. He said, "Candace, this Woman has something for you." She is someone we have seen before.... a couple of years ago, we had a string of incidents that have long since been resolved. So there are a few Legal Figures (GRPD, Sheriff's Department, Judge, Clerks, etc) that we have become acquainted with, and she is one of them.
She Served me with a document telling me that I owed a sum of $ (under $400) to a collection agency, and that because of this, they were claiming the right to seize my personal property to pay the debt... specifically the van (Which is technically MINE, and valued at an amount a bit higher than $400)
David, trying to protect me from having to deal with her and what ever she was wanting with me, had told her I was not home. I, not knowing that she was even here, let alone that he had told her I was not home, walked out the door right in the middle of his talking to her.
She gave me the paper, told me I might want to look into it, and got into her car.
David then told me what had taken place. His intentions were Gold despite how the situation turned out.
We then went to the park to meet up with Stephanie, Nicole, and Ashley. With the van being our sole mode of transportation, I was very stressed over the thought that they might try to take it... we own it free and clear, thereby eliminating the possibility that it can be repoed. The Park Date was perfect for taking my mind off of the problem. We stayed at the park until around 4:00 pm.
I then called my mom to gripe about the van situation. Commenting that as my blog says, "You can't make this "Stuff" up." And that this sort of stuff only seems to happen to me.
We got home; fed, bathed, and got the Children to bed; and got ourselves showered. I had just gotten out of the shower, and we were discussing what WE (David and I) were going to eat(it is normal routine here for us to get the children fed and to bed and THEN eat dinner ourselves (just easier sometimes.)
Elizabeth has had problems the past few weeks with doing what she's supposed to when she's in the bedroom that she shares with her sisters. So we have started getting the other 2 Girls to bed, and then Elizabeth comes downstairs with us and sits on the couch basically until she falls asleep.
So, Elizabeth was sitting on the couch, Jacob and the other 2 Girls were in their beds, and I was on the computer. Jacob started crying, so David was getting him a bottle. Someone knocked on our door.
Now let me just tell you: it may sound a little bit paranoid but due to our past experiences, we do not answer our door unless we are expecting someone. And we were not expecting anyone.
David looked out and said "It's someone from the Sheriff's Department." We haven't been breaking any laws, and figured that they were there to give us the same paperwork we had received earlier from the Woman.
So, we ignored them. David went upstairs to take care of Jacob.
I felt that it was a good idea to take Elizabeth upstairs too until they left.
As I was walking her up the stairs, the front door, which was unlocked, opened, and a Man said "Candace?"
I came back downstairs, and went to the front door where two large MALE Sheriff's Deputies were waiting. They made sure I was "Candace" and then one of them said "Can you get some shoes on and step outside, we have some papers to discuss with you."
I am not proud of this, and it's from a period where things were a disaster between David and I, but I went to jail a few times right before our divorce. And have not only vowed to NEVER go back, but when David and I decided to get remarried, I made him SWEAR to me that I would never again be placed in a situation because of his actions where I would go to jail.
So when they asked me to come outside, I said "OK, but I'm not going anywhere." To which they replied "Yes. You are."
I asked them "Why?" and they informed me that I had 2 Warrants out for my arrest. I told them that was impossible. Rather than explaining anything further than that a designated amount of $ was involved and that they were both described as "Failure to Pay," they just kept insisting I put my shoes on and come with them.
David and Jacob had come downstairs and were observing from the living room (which is directly off of the kitchen) where Elizabeth was.
I immediately went into panic mode.** (I KNEW I hadn't done anything wrong, and David and I haven't had a knock down, drag out fight since the divorce. I learned my lesson over a year ago and my temper has gotten WELL under control since our past experiences.) And backed up to be more in the kitchen where I felt "safe."
They entered the kitchen (Our town house's front door open up into the kitchen, so that is the first room you enter), and proceeded to say things like "Don't make this harder than it has to be," and "You have to come with us, so please put your shoes on." I hadn't eaten and honestly began to black out due to the combination of stress and low blood sugar. Meanwhile, one of the Officers actually located my shoes and put them right in front of my feet for me to put on.
I asked them if I could make some phone calls with them right there to attempt to get the $ so I didn't have to go with them. They informed me that I had to come with them, and that David could then take care of the phone calls and securing the $ and then bring it over to the Jail. I told them I hadn't eaten, and they said that would be addressed at the Jail.
They asked me to cooperate so that they didn't have to make a scene in front of My Children (I did not know Elizabeth had come down the stairs and was in the living room). I told them I was not trying to be difficult but that I was not ok with going with them under the vague circumstances. They threatened to put me on the ground to cuff me if needs be. At one point I am pretty sure I even saw the more vocal AND obnoxious of the 2 put his hand on the snap of the harness for his taser.
I told them that I KNEW that once I got to the Jail, I would have no contact with anyone. They told me that if I stopped giving them a hard time, they would make sure I got a phone call to David as soon as I was done being processed into the Jail.
I conceded finally. And asked David if he had a plan. He told me he did, so I put my sandals on (that they had placed in front of my feet) and walked out the door. As soon as we were outside, I was handcuffed TIGHTLY, and placed in a Big White SUV.
I Cried and snotted non stop all the way to the Sweetwater County Jail which is about 10 miles East of GR.
About half way there I made another comment about having not eaten, and that I knew dinner was long over. The officer driving me told me that he would make sure I got SOMETHING to eat once we got there.
I continued to quietly cry and snot in the back seat.
When we got into the jail, a Female Guard came out to meet us and "collect" me. She asked me how I was... this of course was answered by me with a fresh wave of tears and embarrassing snotting. The Officer told her that I was a bit emotional.
He got me into the Jail, turned me over, mentioned the phone call to the other Officers, and left. Never ONCE saying ANYTHING to ANYONE about my needing to eat.
Meanwhile Poor David was trying to help Elizabeth deal with the situation, take care of Jacob, and get the $ together to get me out before I had to spend the night. However, it was already after 9:30 pm.
I got booked in and processed relatively quickly. The Officers handling everything were very nice and Friendly which of course helped. Then I was allowed to call David. I was about the only one to come in last night, so I was able to talk to David and even Elizabeth for almost 25 minutes. David and I were able to discuss the situation, and he told me that at 9:00 am, my mom could have the $322 it was going to take to satisfy the situation so that I could leave. We decided that there was prolly no chance of me getting out before having to spend the night, and that was bearable.
I got off of the phone with him, was taken to "dress" (change my clothes), and then sent to my cell to go to bed. It was after 10:30 pm.
I had a "roomie" who had already claimed the bottom bunk, so I made up my top bunk, and climbed up for a LONG very restless night with little sleep.
** = Explanation of my Panic on the post that follows
Sunday, March 28, 2010
What sign is stuck to my back?
I can't help but wonder if I have a sign on my back.... maybe on my forehead, that says "I don't know anything.... PLEASE fix this," or "I'm incredibly naive...please enlighten me," or SOMETHING! That EVERYONE but the GR PD can read. The one the PD sees says "Guilty As Sin."
The reason I bring this up is because it is a pretty regular occurance for people to feel the need to "enlighten" me on topics that I usually know more about than they do.... I just don't feel the need to broadcast it.
I TRY to live by the rule that "It's better to stay quiet and be thought a Fool, than to open your mouth and prove it." Now, I know I don't always succeed. And my temper is normally somewhere in the equation during the times when I forget to stick to it.
But here is the example that makes me bring this up:
We were at a Friend's house. I said "We've been pregnant the same # of times even though you have more kids than I do." She said "Are you sure?" I did the math and said "Yes." She then said "Well, actually, I had a miscarriage.... so technically I've been pregnant more times than you have." It normally wouldn't have bothered me, but she said it sort of in a condescending way. What SHE doesn't know, because almost NO body knows unless they've paid REALLY close attention, is that I've actually had 3 separate miscarriages. That gives me a total of 7 pregnancies to her 5. Again, a big deal? Not usually.
However, it was sort of magnified by the fact that this seems to be a realitively frequent thing. To have people try to "Teach" me without ever finding out if I need to be taught. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that few people realize just how assertive I really am. If I have a question about something, I will ask. Or if I don't know something, and am needing "enlightening" I usually seek out the information. If I don't ask, I'm prolly not curious about it.
After having 3 miscarriages for different reasons, I mentioned to someone who was REALLY stressing me out during one of my first viable pregnancies that they needed to back off (I was in a very "iffy" time during the pregnancy, and I was afraid the stress (it was an incredibly STRESSFUL situation) was going to start a miscarriage)
in order to avoid a miscarriage. This person told me that stress would not cause me to micarry. Well, I kept my mouth shut at the time, because it was NONE of this person's business, but I had already had THREE miscarriages, and I knew the role stress could play.... and I really wanted to punch them for that comment. In fact honestly, I've never gotten 100% over that situation and it has affected my relationship with them.
I was also in a situation this past pregnancy with Jacob, where a friend and I had gotten into a disagreement. It was at the VERY beginning of the pregnancy. Actually the DAY before I found out I was for sure pregnant. The next day, (the day I found out I was pregnant) I got rammed in the back with a shopping cart at Walmart (Black Friday shopping). Later that week, David and I got together with this Friend and her Husband. They had to pick me up and then David met us at their house. As we were driving, the Husband I think was trying to bully me (we no longer do things with them). I am not the kind to be bullied. So of course I stood my ground. However, he got out of the car to run into the store, and I told his wife that I would appreciate it if I didn't ever have to deal with him again like that for the sake of the pregnancy. His bullying, thank heaven did no damage. But it was another classic case of people making assumptions that they know more than I do, and that they need to "teach" me. He of course had no idea that I had a history of miscarriages, since it was NOHDB, and prolly had no idea that he was potentially posing a threat.... then again, he's the type of person who prolly wouldn't have cared anyway. But that's a different story all together.
As I'm typing this, I'm seeing a pattern. People seem to assume these kinds of things normally when I am pregnant or discussing something that has to do with pregnancy.
So, let me just say this: I have been pregnant 7 times. I have miscarried 3. I am NO Dr or Midwife... but at least when it comes to MY BODY, MY PREGNANCIES, and MY Miscarriages, I know what I am talking about.
The reason I bring this up is because it is a pretty regular occurance for people to feel the need to "enlighten" me on topics that I usually know more about than they do.... I just don't feel the need to broadcast it.
I TRY to live by the rule that "It's better to stay quiet and be thought a Fool, than to open your mouth and prove it." Now, I know I don't always succeed. And my temper is normally somewhere in the equation during the times when I forget to stick to it.
But here is the example that makes me bring this up:
We were at a Friend's house. I said "We've been pregnant the same # of times even though you have more kids than I do." She said "Are you sure?" I did the math and said "Yes." She then said "Well, actually, I had a miscarriage.... so technically I've been pregnant more times than you have." It normally wouldn't have bothered me, but she said it sort of in a condescending way. What SHE doesn't know, because almost NO body knows unless they've paid REALLY close attention, is that I've actually had 3 separate miscarriages. That gives me a total of 7 pregnancies to her 5. Again, a big deal? Not usually.
However, it was sort of magnified by the fact that this seems to be a realitively frequent thing. To have people try to "Teach" me without ever finding out if I need to be taught. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that few people realize just how assertive I really am. If I have a question about something, I will ask. Or if I don't know something, and am needing "enlightening" I usually seek out the information. If I don't ask, I'm prolly not curious about it.
After having 3 miscarriages for different reasons, I mentioned to someone who was REALLY stressing me out during one of my first viable pregnancies that they needed to back off (I was in a very "iffy" time during the pregnancy, and I was afraid the stress (it was an incredibly STRESSFUL situation) was going to start a miscarriage)
in order to avoid a miscarriage. This person told me that stress would not cause me to micarry. Well, I kept my mouth shut at the time, because it was NONE of this person's business, but I had already had THREE miscarriages, and I knew the role stress could play.... and I really wanted to punch them for that comment. In fact honestly, I've never gotten 100% over that situation and it has affected my relationship with them.
I was also in a situation this past pregnancy with Jacob, where a friend and I had gotten into a disagreement. It was at the VERY beginning of the pregnancy. Actually the DAY before I found out I was for sure pregnant. The next day, (the day I found out I was pregnant) I got rammed in the back with a shopping cart at Walmart (Black Friday shopping). Later that week, David and I got together with this Friend and her Husband. They had to pick me up and then David met us at their house. As we were driving, the Husband I think was trying to bully me (we no longer do things with them). I am not the kind to be bullied. So of course I stood my ground. However, he got out of the car to run into the store, and I told his wife that I would appreciate it if I didn't ever have to deal with him again like that for the sake of the pregnancy. His bullying, thank heaven did no damage. But it was another classic case of people making assumptions that they know more than I do, and that they need to "teach" me. He of course had no idea that I had a history of miscarriages, since it was NOHDB, and prolly had no idea that he was potentially posing a threat.... then again, he's the type of person who prolly wouldn't have cared anyway. But that's a different story all together.
As I'm typing this, I'm seeing a pattern. People seem to assume these kinds of things normally when I am pregnant or discussing something that has to do with pregnancy.
So, let me just say this: I have been pregnant 7 times. I have miscarried 3. I am NO Dr or Midwife... but at least when it comes to MY BODY, MY PREGNANCIES, and MY Miscarriages, I know what I am talking about.
The Beginning of the End and other thoughts on my Beliefs from this week
Next week is Easter. For us "Mormons" it is also General Conference. This is a 2 day event where we spend from 10 am until Noon, and then 2 pm until 4 pm each day (Saturday and Sunday) listening to those we consider our Religious Leaders (we refer to them as General Authorities.)
This particular General Conference eludes to be significant. I believe that this past week has marked a significant point in history with the Health care Bill passed by Congress. I only know a little about the exact details of the Bill. However, what I have learned leads me to believe that this Bill is more or less Unconstitutional.
For Members of the LDS Church who know their "Church History" and the things that have been written by Our Leaders throughout the past 2 centuries, this is a key point in what we believe will transpire prior to "The End of the World." ( I am using a lot of general terms.... I am not a "doomsday/apocalypse/end of existence" type of person)
Here's what I'm getting at: I believe that this is the beginning of "The End." The end of what exactly, I do not know. But I do believe that "The End" will encompass the America that we know changing DRASTICALLY. The History of the world shows several time frames where things have happened similar to how things are happening right now. The United States of America are at a point where other countries have been at one time or another. And in all of the other instances the outcome was a complete breakdown before things were rebuilt. And when they were rebuilt it was always as a completely different country.... or multiple countries.
Anyway it happens we are basically guaranteed that this situation we are currently in is going to decline. And eventually be drastic.
There are Scholars out there who have believed for some time now that it will be a complete break down resulting in a Civil War and eventually the United States will be divided and separated into several different Countries' territories.
However you choose to view it. It looks like a good time to take into consideration the things written in the "Book Of Revelations" (New Testament of the Bible.)
One thing David and I have discussed recently is that it speaks of the "Mark of the Beast in their hands and on their foreheads."
Throughout my life, I have come to understand through the teachings I have received, that this will entail some sort of mandatory bar coding system insisted upon by the government. In Revelations, John warns against accepting this system. As David and I were discussing this the other day, he commented that he believes that many of our Faith, who know the warning will still choose to comply. Let this be my "Two Cents" that those of you who believe in the "Book of Revelations" consider the warning it contains if this scenario ever arises.
In the mean time this is a good time to take Food Storage very seriously. Also make sure for those of you who are LDS, that you ARE paying your tithing.
******************************************************
Another thing I want to touch on quickly is "Keeping the Sabbath Day Holy." Many view it as specific to "Mormons." However, it is in fact one of the original 10 Commandments, dating back in Christian Beliefs AND Non Christian Beliefs to Moses.
I have been working really hard the past month or so to take this to heart, and use the "Sabbath" which for us is Sunday, as a day of rest. I do not do laundry or any cleaning (beyond basic maintenance) on Sunday, if I can help it. I try to get the grocery shopping, laundry and cleaning done by the time I go to bed Saturday night so that Sunday can be a peaceful day.
I don't know how much it has helped us as a Family. However, I do know that in light of David's recent escalation in outbursts, I believe it to be the reason that I am able to remain calmer, and handle the situation rationally and without loosing control myself.
This particular General Conference eludes to be significant. I believe that this past week has marked a significant point in history with the Health care Bill passed by Congress. I only know a little about the exact details of the Bill. However, what I have learned leads me to believe that this Bill is more or less Unconstitutional.
For Members of the LDS Church who know their "Church History" and the things that have been written by Our Leaders throughout the past 2 centuries, this is a key point in what we believe will transpire prior to "The End of the World." ( I am using a lot of general terms.... I am not a "doomsday/apocalypse/end of existence" type of person)
Here's what I'm getting at: I believe that this is the beginning of "The End." The end of what exactly, I do not know. But I do believe that "The End" will encompass the America that we know changing DRASTICALLY. The History of the world shows several time frames where things have happened similar to how things are happening right now. The United States of America are at a point where other countries have been at one time or another. And in all of the other instances the outcome was a complete breakdown before things were rebuilt. And when they were rebuilt it was always as a completely different country.... or multiple countries.
Anyway it happens we are basically guaranteed that this situation we are currently in is going to decline. And eventually be drastic.
There are Scholars out there who have believed for some time now that it will be a complete break down resulting in a Civil War and eventually the United States will be divided and separated into several different Countries' territories.
However you choose to view it. It looks like a good time to take into consideration the things written in the "Book Of Revelations" (New Testament of the Bible.)
One thing David and I have discussed recently is that it speaks of the "Mark of the Beast in their hands and on their foreheads."
Throughout my life, I have come to understand through the teachings I have received, that this will entail some sort of mandatory bar coding system insisted upon by the government. In Revelations, John warns against accepting this system. As David and I were discussing this the other day, he commented that he believes that many of our Faith, who know the warning will still choose to comply. Let this be my "Two Cents" that those of you who believe in the "Book of Revelations" consider the warning it contains if this scenario ever arises.
In the mean time this is a good time to take Food Storage very seriously. Also make sure for those of you who are LDS, that you ARE paying your tithing.
******************************************************
Another thing I want to touch on quickly is "Keeping the Sabbath Day Holy." Many view it as specific to "Mormons." However, it is in fact one of the original 10 Commandments, dating back in Christian Beliefs AND Non Christian Beliefs to Moses.
I have been working really hard the past month or so to take this to heart, and use the "Sabbath" which for us is Sunday, as a day of rest. I do not do laundry or any cleaning (beyond basic maintenance) on Sunday, if I can help it. I try to get the grocery shopping, laundry and cleaning done by the time I go to bed Saturday night so that Sunday can be a peaceful day.
I don't know how much it has helped us as a Family. However, I do know that in light of David's recent escalation in outbursts, I believe it to be the reason that I am able to remain calmer, and handle the situation rationally and without loosing control myself.
Friday, March 26, 2010
GO AWAY!!!!!!
I got a message from Jen, Adam Peeples' Fiance today. Jen and I have been friends since High School. I liked and respected her quite a bit.
Here's the story: I knew Adam and Jen in HS. They were both Friends of mine. Jen liked Adam. They went out once or twice.
We leave HS. Adam goes on an LDS Mission. Jen does her thing. Adam and I had a limited amount of contact after his Mission. He was "dating" one of my Best Friends. They didn't work out. He married this girl named Annaleise. Then from what I heard, he went kind of psycho.
He divorces Annaleise, and hooks up with Jen. They have a daughter together. Then I think they sort of dated other people.
Then, Adam and I become Friends on Myspace. I hear crazy rumors about how wierd he is, and I ask his Sister, Sarah about them. (Who I have also known since HS because Adam and I were Friends, and Sarah was Friends with some of my Friends siblings.)
Then Adam removes me from his Friends list and avoids me. Meanwhile, Sarah does not ever respond to my quiries.
THE END.
Oh, but wait: In the mean time, Jen and I are FB Friends. All of a sudden, she posts: "I'm marrying my HS Sweetie, Adam Peeples."
I comment with: CONGRATULATIONS! Btw, Adam doesn't like me very much, and I'm not sure why. Maybe you could talk to him. Oh, and again CONGRATULATIONS! I am so happy for you and your GIRLS!"
The next thing I know, she has deleted me as a Friend, and i get a message from Adam chewing me out for not privately asking Jen or him about why he won't talk to me. About how inappropriate what I did was. And how the only reason he can think of that I am trying to find out information about him, is that I am a "spy" for his psycho ex wife who I have never met.
I respond to him, AND send a message to Jen apologizing for how I handled things. Letting Adam know that I do not know his ex wife.
And I create a new FB profile to get rid of Friends like Adam and Jen who go berserk over something so small. Thereby hopefully cutting some of the drama out of my life.
THEN I find out that Adam is running for a Public Office. And I think he is a bad choice based on everything I have heard about and experienced with him.
He messages me, asking me to "call off the dogs" again referring to my knowing and spying for his ex wife.
I reply that I do not know his exwife. That my opinion is based off of how he has treated me, and that I believe he is not the right person to represent the people of Utah. I also mention that I think it's great that he is such a good Family man. (he made a point to tell me that he is) ANd telling him a little about my self in hopes we can maybe get along. But declining his invitation to call him.
He replys with a bunch of angry garbage. And you know what I thought about that. I then asked him to not message me again.
So then, I get the message from Jen. Telling me that I'm wrong about Adam. And again, telling me about how horrible and manipulative his ex is and how good he is. But still referencing Annaleise like I'm friends with her and should stop campaining against Adam in her name.
OMGOSH!!!!!!!!!! I DO NOT KNOW THIS WOMAN! But I STILL think Adam is a bad choice for the office he is running for based on HOW HE ACTS and HOW HE HAS TREATED ME.
But if I hear the name ANNALEISE in reference to Adam's exwife AGAIN, I might go POSTAL!
Ironically, I wanted to name Elysia that MANY years ago...but again, I NEVER knew or have met Adam's exwife. I have heard of her, by since she doesn't penetrate my Sphere of existence, I didn't think anything of her name being the same name I was thinking of using. Thank HEAVEN I didn't use it or I'd have been lynched by the Peeples for sure ;-)
So now, I have had to ask both Adam AND Jen to not contact me again. And told them that I STILL DO NOT THINK ADAM IS RIGHT FOR THE OFFICE HE IS RUNNING FOR!!!!!!!!!
But I am seriously thinking of looking this exwife up and making Friends with her .... Bwahahahaha!
Here's the story: I knew Adam and Jen in HS. They were both Friends of mine. Jen liked Adam. They went out once or twice.
We leave HS. Adam goes on an LDS Mission. Jen does her thing. Adam and I had a limited amount of contact after his Mission. He was "dating" one of my Best Friends. They didn't work out. He married this girl named Annaleise. Then from what I heard, he went kind of psycho.
He divorces Annaleise, and hooks up with Jen. They have a daughter together. Then I think they sort of dated other people.
Then, Adam and I become Friends on Myspace. I hear crazy rumors about how wierd he is, and I ask his Sister, Sarah about them. (Who I have also known since HS because Adam and I were Friends, and Sarah was Friends with some of my Friends siblings.)
Then Adam removes me from his Friends list and avoids me. Meanwhile, Sarah does not ever respond to my quiries.
THE END.
Oh, but wait: In the mean time, Jen and I are FB Friends. All of a sudden, she posts: "I'm marrying my HS Sweetie, Adam Peeples."
I comment with: CONGRATULATIONS! Btw, Adam doesn't like me very much, and I'm not sure why. Maybe you could talk to him. Oh, and again CONGRATULATIONS! I am so happy for you and your GIRLS!"
The next thing I know, she has deleted me as a Friend, and i get a message from Adam chewing me out for not privately asking Jen or him about why he won't talk to me. About how inappropriate what I did was. And how the only reason he can think of that I am trying to find out information about him, is that I am a "spy" for his psycho ex wife who I have never met.
I respond to him, AND send a message to Jen apologizing for how I handled things. Letting Adam know that I do not know his ex wife.
And I create a new FB profile to get rid of Friends like Adam and Jen who go berserk over something so small. Thereby hopefully cutting some of the drama out of my life.
THEN I find out that Adam is running for a Public Office. And I think he is a bad choice based on everything I have heard about and experienced with him.
He messages me, asking me to "call off the dogs" again referring to my knowing and spying for his ex wife.
I reply that I do not know his exwife. That my opinion is based off of how he has treated me, and that I believe he is not the right person to represent the people of Utah. I also mention that I think it's great that he is such a good Family man. (he made a point to tell me that he is) ANd telling him a little about my self in hopes we can maybe get along. But declining his invitation to call him.
He replys with a bunch of angry garbage. And you know what I thought about that. I then asked him to not message me again.
So then, I get the message from Jen. Telling me that I'm wrong about Adam. And again, telling me about how horrible and manipulative his ex is and how good he is. But still referencing Annaleise like I'm friends with her and should stop campaining against Adam in her name.
OMGOSH!!!!!!!!!! I DO NOT KNOW THIS WOMAN! But I STILL think Adam is a bad choice for the office he is running for based on HOW HE ACTS and HOW HE HAS TREATED ME.
But if I hear the name ANNALEISE in reference to Adam's exwife AGAIN, I might go POSTAL!
Ironically, I wanted to name Elysia that MANY years ago...but again, I NEVER knew or have met Adam's exwife. I have heard of her, by since she doesn't penetrate my Sphere of existence, I didn't think anything of her name being the same name I was thinking of using. Thank HEAVEN I didn't use it or I'd have been lynched by the Peeples for sure ;-)
So now, I have had to ask both Adam AND Jen to not contact me again. And told them that I STILL DO NOT THINK ADAM IS RIGHT FOR THE OFFICE HE IS RUNNING FOR!!!!!!!!!
But I am seriously thinking of looking this exwife up and making Friends with her .... Bwahahahaha!
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