The Wall

"We don't need no education.
We don't need no thought control.
No dark sarcasm in the classroom.
Teacher, leave those kids alone.
Hey, Teacher, leave those kids alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.
We don't need no education.
We don't need no thought control.
No dark sarcasm in the classroom.
Teachers, leave those kids alone.
Hey, Teacher, leave those kids alone!
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall. "

Squeezing every tear out

My Friend's dad died today.

I could leave it at that, and it almost sums it up.

But there really is so much it doesn't.

First, I am so truly sad for her and her family.

This man was very important to them.

He was a Horrible husband and Father for a span of years. When I met them, he was on his way out of their lives.

And then, he came back. And he mended broken ties and broken hearts.

And I witnessed this over years that were very fundamental in shaping my outlook and the way I chose for MY life.

This Family is so important to me, and my heart breaks with theirs!

The last time I cried like this, was when my Grandma died.

I am about to send out Christmas Cards. I send one to them every year. This year will not be the exception. But he won't ever see it.

And every tear that can squeeze it's way out of my heart and soul over this WILL before the year is over.

I will cry today. Much more than I have already. And I will cry when I see his Family. I will cry at his viewing. At his Funeral.

Heather, Anita, Karen, Matt, Calvin, David, Michael.... my heart goes out to you. ESPECIALLY the first 3. His wife, Karen, and 2 daughters.... I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

Success

‎"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm."
– Sir Winston Churchill

TRUE Christmas... what REALLY matters

I woke up this afternoon.... I was EXHAUSTED.... to DRAMA that was all ABOUT something I'd done, but was taking place AROUND me not WITH me. People who want to piss and moan over stupid things that just happen.

And I am Happy. I have all of the things in my life that REALLY matter. I have my BEAUTIFUL 4 Children. My Husband who wanted me to have a good night even though I was having drama after drama swirling all around me, so he bought a game that I wanted over one he wanted AND brought me home a surprise Raspberry Lemonade that you can't get just ANYWHERE. Then he cleaned up and got the children to bed so I could relax and decorate some more.

I have the ability to forgive, and a grateful personality. SO many people live life without those traits.

I am not ugly. I can be really cute.

And I have all of my basic needs taken care of.

I have some REALLY good Friends, and Family.

God is sooooooo GOOD to me!

I have all of the makings for a WONDERFUL Holiday season!

Thank HEAVEN my Husbands smarter than I give him credit for!

SO after using David as a sounding board, things may not be so bad, and the Friendships are hopefully still intact just parts of them are different.

The Christmas Decorating was still a good idea, and It looks and smells so festive in here.

Buying more Scentsy is always good too!

Decorating for Christmas

I wasn't going to decorate because I'm hoping that we'll be moving by Jan 1st or maybe even Christmas and the last thing I need right now is more to have to pack and organize.... and since it's already packed up.... well, I'm sure you get the point.

Anyhow, David told me that he wants to move before Christmas so that we can have Christmas decorations up.

I have lost a couple of Friendships this week that I'm pretty sad about. And I don't understand what exactly happened, so I'm even more down about it.

SO, I decided the best way to pull out of it was to decorate for Christmas.

I'm glad too because it HAS helped a lot, and I realized that all of the stuff I'm taking down in exchange for the Christmas decorations can go straight into boxes or totes.

I got David to let me get a couple of new Scentsy Warmers too.

Possessions don't take the place of Friendships, but doing something like Christmas decorating and buying new stuff always seems to help. It's like ice cream. Ice cream can fix ANYTHING ;-)

How lonely it must be

I know WAY too many people that are only friends with ANYONE superficially. They are so afraid of being hurt, out shined, what ever to let anyone closer than arms length.

The problem that this causes for someone like me is 1) that it's hard to make real friends because no one wants to be or have a real friend, and 2) that people like that do a LOT of damage to people like me who actually care.

Aren't you lonely? Is it really so much better this way? Would you really rather be stand offish, and have people around you for superficiality?

I do NOT know how to love by halves. I either Love you or Hate you. And when you do things that push me towards hating you, I put that much more into loving you because convince yourself all you want that I'm a problem for this, but you know deep down that you wish more people cared that much!