I TRULY love my life!

I am happier today than I think I knew I could be. I thank God for the place I am at in my life, marriage and world.


Along with that, it is interesting to me to look in the mirror or at pictures of myself. I do not look inside the way I see myself when I see myself ;-)

And it's interesting to me. Especially since I have had such defined issues with my complexion lately. And people are reacting to the way I look more than I ever thought they would. People seem honestly surprised by the idea that I am animated, bubbly, and intelligent.

It's almost like the thought going throught their minds when they see me is: "If she looks like THAT, she must be someone who feels like crap about herself and is just existing."

Obviously this is MY interpretation.

But I LIKE me. I LIKE what I have to offer.... until I see what I look like on the outside. And it's enough to make me pause for a moment.

But not for long. I don't have time to spend too long on it. Because that's not really what I look like.

Dear Reader

After this post, make sure and read the post "Overwhelmed.... Again" BEFORE the "Dear...." ones. It'll make MUCH more sense!!!!

Just so you know, I went to the store with Jacob and Bella tonight. I put Bella (in her carrier) in the cart, and then "secured" the cart against my bumper so it wouldn't roll away while I got Jacob out of the car. After removing him from the car, I looked up to see a person of Hispanic decent who did NOT speak enough English to tell me what happened, walking toward me pushing the cart with My Baby in it. As MUCH as I HATE the "Masses" of his fellow Hispanics, I am so grateful for any and ALL of the people crammed into his SUV that had any role in his "catching" Bella as (i can only assume) she rolled down the parking lot (who knows how far she got) in the cart that I THOUGHT was stabily pressed against my car.

Then, when we got INSIDE the store. A woman of the same general race, reached out with absolutely NO provocation that I could find, and began touching Bella. I SAID "DO NOT TOUCH MY BABY!!!!" And SOMEHOW managed to walk away to fume vs BITING her or calling the police on her ;)

I made it home, took care of what I needed to for the Kids, and then as I soaked in the tub to unwind, i realized just how serious the situation with Bella in the parking lot COULD have been :( And really beacame emotional. Tonight I miss David EXTRA!

Dear Father

THANK YOU for sending someone to catch the cart as it rolled away with My Bella in it!!! THANK YOU for leaving her with us!!!!! ♥

Dear Walmart Customer who DOESN'T speak English

KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF!!!! It is such a BASIC concept. You are SOOOOO lucky I didn't BITE you!!!!!

Dear Josh Powell

You BASTARD! I almost lost my SWEET Baby tonight. And I would have been heart broken on a level that would never mend. And YOU have the NERVE to make the decision that your sons lives were over. How DARE you take them from those who loved and needed them. I didn't know enough to make a judgement on your guilt where your wife is concerned 2 days ago, but Gee you sure seem guilty now!!!

Many GOOD Christ following people are glad that you will have to suffer for what you did yesterday!!!! NOT glad you did it. Just that there is a "special" level of punishment for "People" (cringe) like you.

Dear Candace

You really bombed today with Bella. On the upside, you DID a lot right. However the one or two "wrongs" could have cost you your Baby! PLEASE learn your lesson and be more vigilant!!!! You're SO miraculously blessed tonight.

PS - Good job not being excessive in your reactions to those who cannot understand English or "Keep your hands to yourself!" You kept it short and to the point.... then walked away. Now BREATHE!

Dear Mr "Hero"

Thank you to you and all of the others with you who had a part in saving my Baby!!!! I am so gratful you were there. Forgive me for the fact that you Heroism doesn't fully excuse the fact that you don't speak English. People like you frustrate me so much. How could I ask you the questions I needed to in order to know the exact condition of things. But then, you DID make sure my Baby is safe in my love tonight. Thank you for that! Please learn english and become someone who can function successfully in this country you and your "Compadres" are taking over.