Outsider, Peculiar, Odd

All labels that I often feel apply to me. And it's only such a big problem, I think because a) I was pretty popular as a teen, and b) I'm really not that different from everyone else.

So, while I was in the shower just now, I was mulling over this situation I'm in. I feel, for at LEAST the 9th month now, that I am STUCK in the Waiting Place of Dr. Seuss ("Oh The Places You'll Go" is one of my ALL TIME FAVORITE books!)

I think I have actually finally gotten somewhat out of it. I am settling down with the idea that we will be in this townhouse at LEAST until August, and am happy to be a SAHM. It helps a TON that David is working again.... but even right before he got this job, I had settled into living life as is and not waiting for it to change. But it makes it hard to still feel like an outsider, peculiar, and odd.

The Moms from Playgroup have REALLY helped with this. I feel at home with them.

But you see, I am a very unique combination. I go to church on Sunday, and have very little to say. No one there would understand a lot of what I consider my life. They don't go to jail, LOVE pudding shots, attend Passion Parties.... let alone consider SELLING for them, do a Mom's Night In. Bummer. I think they could benefit from some of these things. And I am no less "Mormon" for it. I still pay tithing, keep my covenants that I made in the Temple. I hold a Temple Recommend HONESTLY. I believe it. I live it. I just don't have a stick up my butt about it. In fact, I am one of the FEW who actually HAS a year supply of food stored for my Family of 6.

That's actually another thing that fascinates me. How many people who are "Mormon" who seem shocked by the fact that I want more children. Especially when it doesn't seem to shock my NON LDS Friends and associates anywhere NEAR as much as it does the ones who are LDS.

And the whole Passion Parties thing. My mom and I actually did not speak for almost a week after I called her on my way to Nicole's and told her where I was going. But COME ON! I KNOW for a FACT that everyone.... with maybe ONE exception... reading this Blog has had sex in the past year. And PLANS to have sex sometime in the coming year. And I also know that sex is one of those things where you have to make it work for YOU and you partner. No matter what others say or do, it is almost NEVER the same for any 2 couples. And some people don't enjoy things that others do, and some people enjoy things that others don't. And what you do behind closed doors (and sometimes on the HS track or a 4 wheeler ;-) is your business. But as long as it contributes to keeping your marriage/relationship healthy, there's nothing wrong with it. And there are things that are associated with Boutiques, and "Novelty" stores that are even G rated. Not everything is R or X. I'm actually NOT trying to make a sales pitch. Just point out that it shouldn't be such a taboo topic, or business.

Personally, David and I keep it pretty, I don't know.... we're not wild and crazy. BUT if it was ALWAYS the same, and never accomplished anything more than the basics, we prolly would not have the 4 Children we have. That's why people fake headaches. Is because if it's only so-so, then it gets to be more hassle than it's worth.

I'm getting off track....

I just am tired of being looked at as "odd" when I'm pretty much just like everyone else!