Selfish

I'm sorry to say that I gain a little bit of selfish pleasure from being imperfect.... maybe it means I can stay here longer. I hate the thought that I could not be here anymore to take care of my Little Ones. The job I do is inadequate most of the time, but I try every day to be better at it, and fill their needs more fully. And I truly believe I am the best person to meet their needs.

I'm sorry, but NO ONE can love them the way I do. There is a love that backs every word, every interaction.... even when I am angry with them.

I love them in tears, I love them in smiles, I love them when I yell, I love them when I laugh. I love them in cookies. I love them in vitamins. I love them in discipline, I love them in scoldings. I love them in parties. I love them in church. I love them in hikes, and walks. I love them in Dance Class. I love them in a schedule. I love them in hugs. I love them in letting them come into bed with me in the mornings when Daddy leaves for work. I love them in a messy house. I love them in clean clothes. I love them in going out to dinner. I love them in going to movies.

I love them with every thought, and every breath I have in me. And for this reason, I selfishly am grateful to not be perfect enough that God needs me there ;-)