Dinners

We had a family from our ward come to our house for dinner and to play some games tonight. It was soooo refreshing. First of all, Timothy (the 5 year old who came) is one of the FEW children who aren't ours that we truly enjoy. (In all honesty, the Wallace Children, and Chase are also on that list.) But he is also a Boy, and well, we are just now getting used to exactly what that entails. However, Timothy is truly a delight.

And then Greg and Rebecca, his parents are also so refreshing to have around. They moved into our ward right after David lost his job which was also right after Greg lost his. So we had that in common. Greg has also been in the Air Force, and is the one who got David in touch with the people who have gotten him this interview in Alaska.

Anyway, after dinner and some Beatles Rock Band, they had to leave. Timothy was not happy to go. They are leaving for Disneyland tomorrow, and I told Timothy to "Go to Disneyland, and then come back here and see us." He took his Mom's face in his hands and said, "Mom, I want to go to Disneyland, and then come back to the Roses." SOOOOO cute!

Where I actually want to go with this is that I am a very social person. I love my Family more than life, but I don't truly excel unless I have the opportunities to be social regularly. Fortunately despite all the other things I may complain about, David seems to get this.... and usually support this about me.

I LOVE to entertain. And tonight was actually one of the most successful dinners we've had. The house was clean and organized, and dinner was quick and cleaned up in time to hang out and play Rock Band for a bit.

It left me feeling accomplished, and like I had some party still in me, rather than exhausted and all partied out.

And I think it was ALL how preparing for dinner went. Dinner was actually ready on time, I got the house cleaner than usual, and I didn't feel rushed like I normally do because of my inability to be prepared instead of running around like a chicken with it's head cut off.

This is oddly enough a multi layered topic. You see, as we have been looking for a job for David, and looking into where we may move, I go through phases where I feel very clingy to what I'm familiar with (people and places) and want to go back to Utah. Or sometimes, I decide I want to stay here. But I'm finding myself braking off from what I have clung to in the past. Whether we stay here, go back to Utah, or start all over again in Alaska, I have become realitively independent of the ties I used to have.

I enjoy having my OWN life. I really have some GREAT Friends here that I am so glad to have in my life. And oddly enough, I think I am MORE likely to keep THOSE Friendships than worry too much about the ones from earlier years. Also, the people who I have reconnected with from earlier years.... who weren't a main part of my life for a while, seem to be really viable parts of my life now.

I am so much more than I have portrayed myself as the past decade or so. Not to pat myself on the back or anything, but I don't actually know a lot of people who can
successfully handle 4 children. I know a handful of people who can. But especially considering all of the CRAP David and I have been through, well, I think I do alright. ;-) I am my own person, and I have a lot to offer. And the drama and politics that are sometimes involved in old Friendships are not always conducive to what I want to accomplish.

So, I pray that very soon, David will find a good job, and we will be able to move somewhere that will provide me with the resources I need to truly apply the depth of who I am. :-)