The Saddest Words

"American Poet and abolitionist John Greenleaf Whittier (1807-1892) wrote, "For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'It might have been!'" Harriet Beecher Stowe (1811-1896), who was a contemporary of John Greenleaf Whittier, staunch abolitionist, and author of "Uncle Tom's Cabin," had this to say, "The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone." What are these two like-minded individuals telling us? The saddest words of all are the words of regret, especially if they are uttered at one's deathbed.

Are there letters to relatives you've left unwritten, telephone calls left undone, family time left unspent, broken relationships left unrepaired, and goals left abandoned? That wouldn't be a problem if we were immortal, for then we could always do those things "someday" in the future. But we're not. We have a limited amount of time available. To avoid experiencing "the saddest words of all," to avoid dying with regret, we need to get out of the habit of leaving things undone.

What value is a blossom that doesn't open? What value is our life if we don't let our potential unfold? When we habitually take action at the moment opportunity strikes we lead fulfilled lives. But those who lead lives of inaction are like stones that exist but don't live.

Are there things you've done or failed to do that you regret? Of course, what a silly question! After all, we're human, which is another way of saying we're imperfect. So, there's no need to panic or obsess over our regrets. Instead, we can use them as a positive force. We can accept them as a wake up call. We can use them to spur us on to new behavior by choosing to act, not postpone. In the words of Henry David Thoreau, "Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it come to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh."

The dark of night is not the end of the world. Our gravest mistakes are not the end of life. No matter how we blundered, we can turn ourselves around by learning from the past. We can become like the lotus blossom that majestically rises out of the mud.

When we close the gap between what we want to be and what we are now, we will have high self-esteem. Low self-esteem is due to a huge gap between the two. To boost our confidence and eliminate regrets, all we have to do is our best. How can we not succeed if we always remember we have the choice between becoming better or becoming bitter.

We need to refocus our attention from our "failures" and regrets to the opportunities that beckon us. As, Jerome K. Jerome wrote, "Opportunities flit by while we sit regretting the chances we have lost, and the happiness that comes to us we heed not, because of the happiness that is gone." Sometimes we avoid examining our regrets because of the pain. But that's a mistake. Use them as a lesson, as a stepping-stone to a better you.

"At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict, or not closing one more deal;" said Barbara Bush, "You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent." I'll end with a quote by Max L. Lucado, followed by a poems. Here's Max's thoughts, "Go to the effort. Invest the time. Write the letter. Make the apology. Take the trip. Purchase the gift. Do it. The seized opportunity renders joy. The neglected brings regret."

If I had my child to raise over again

If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd finger paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
I'd see the oak tree in the acorn more often.
I would be firm less often and affirm much more.
I'd model less about the love of power,
And more about the power of love.
By Diane Loomans".....
© Chuck Gallozzi
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I am happy to say that as I have been trying to purge my feelings from my past, I have realized that I have soooo very much to be grateful for.

I have made mistakes. BIG ones. And yet, over all, I regret VERY little. I have Always done what I believe in. No matter what anyone else thought. I married for Love. I began My Family immediately, which ironically is where most of my regrets come in (not for having the children I do, but for not knowing what I know now before I had them.... I would have been so much better to them), rather than waiting for my career or money.

Looking back, and really analyzing things, I have had 3 Great Loves: Mike, Jared, and David. All 3 were incredible Guys. All 3 had the potential to help me become who I need to be. But through my mistakes, as well as my good choices, 2 were weeded out. But how sad if I hadn't married one of the 3. In my earlier post I mentioned that Mike was the reason I didn't let David get away. I was so sad when things didn't work out with us. No, sad isn't the right word. HEART BROKEN! Especially because the reason we initially "broke up" was based on a malicious LIE by a Mutual Friend, and then my actions made it a self fulfilling prophecy. And when David and I were at an important crossroads, I literally heard in my head the words "Don't let what happened with Mike happen with David." So, we ran with it, and Eloped! :D

I feel now that I need to be able to help others. I feel a strong pull towards politics, and the law in general. I LOVED being a part of something with the Army. And it was incredibly fitting that the crest for my MOS (Specialty in the Military) with the JAG was the sword and pen.

The branch insignia consists of a gold pen crossed above a gold sword, superimposed over a laurel wreath. The pen signifies the recording of testimony, the sword represents the military character of the JAG Corps, and the wreath indicates honor. The insignia was created in May 1890 in silver and changed to gold in 1899.

The regimental distinctive insignia (commonly but erroneously referred to as a "crest") contains the branch insignia on a shield of azure (dark blue), bordered argent (silver), the regimental colors. The "1775" on the ribbon below the shields refers to the year of the Corps' establishment.

I believe it has a double meaning and eludes to the fact of the power of word both spoken as well as written.

The choices I've made, and What I've Done have made me who I am. I am strong, and I have a wealth of knowledge to share. I love deeply, and have a great deal of understanding and compassion.