Teaching Consequences

I am so proud to see my Children seeing contrasts and comparisons. They say the brain doesn't fully understand cause and effect, or consequences until the person is around 21.

Now, I believe this is very likely, and unfortunately that makes the next 15 years or more relatively daunting.

But at their young ages, I DO see them seeing contrast and comparisons of what consequences and scenarios they like and don't like.

They can tell you that they like the way I do certain things. They can tell you that they would prefer a cookie to a spanking. And we are teaching (slowly but consistently) that a cookie is likely to follow good behavior, and a spanking is likely to follow poor behavior. I teach my children early and consistently that my job is to prepare, teach, protect and help them to be happy. That it applies to all of them, and if they are doing things that are unsafe to either themselves or the other members of our Family, they have to be stopped.

Their feelings matter. Their feelings are important. However, their feelings come 2nd to their (and others) safety.

Elizabeth burst into tears once when I told her that for everyone's sake, I would not be handling the situation we were dealing with anymore. That her dad would be. When asked why she was so upset, she said that it's because he's "a lot meaner" than I am. I informed her that since she wasn't cooperating with ME, she was going to deal with him. She knew she didn't like that alternative, and that to avoid it in the future would require her changing how she dealt with the situation.

So, we may be taking baby steps now, but I see the lights turning on, and really that's all I need right now ;-)