Dear God, I come to you as humbly as I know how. I confess my sins, those known and unknown. Lord you know I am not perfect and I fall short everyday of my life, but I want to take time out to say Thank You for your mercy. Thank You for my health, my family and my friends, the roof over my head, food on my table, and everything I have.

Come Holy Ghost

Come... Holy Ghost
Abide inside with me
Let's look, out my windows
Show me what I need to see
Point and I will go
Oh, I will follow Thee
Come... Holy Ghost
Abide inside with me

Lets decorate my mind
With thoughts, Divine
We'll set a guard at my heart
To keep my mouth, in line
We'll receive our directions
From the Holy Throne above
Oh, Come... Holy Ghost
Teach me to walk in love.

Come... Holy Ghost
Abide inside with me
Let's look, out my windows
Show me what I need to see
Point and I will go
Oh, I will follow Thee
Come... Holy Ghost
Abide inside with me
~ Thomas Eugene Hudson ~

Why I can do it

The people I have been dealing with have ONE HUGE thing in common and it goes hand in hand with the one sided relationship topic. These 2 characteristics are present in ALL of the situations I have encountered between the "Blog War" and the Play Group scenario I have been talking about.

And what both characteristics (being unable to forgive and not allowing people to do things for them) point to is one key fact: They know NOTHING about the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

You see, I don't hold grudges, because He doesn't hold one against ME.

I don't call you names, or say "Look at her... hahaha" because He doesn't do it to ME.

I don't criticize your parenting or drag up all of your past mistakes, because He over looks and forgets MINE.

I don't want to be whipped over and over for something I said a year or 3 or even a month ago. So I don't do it.

If you have "demons" that you deal with that I know about, I will keep it to myself because I have my own and would want them to not be headline news.

I won't air a laundry list of your faults and "10 things I hate about you" because it's hurtful.

And that Man who forgives me, and overlooks MY laundry list of faults wouldn't like it. It would make HIS overlooking MY faults null and void. Why should He forgive MY Humanity if I then won't forgive yours.

If you were to EVER offer me an apology, I would accept it without a second thought. If you were to ever ask for my forgiveness, I would give it to you immediately!!!!! Who am I to deny you that?

I am not perfect. If I was, I wouldn't ever rant about injustices others carry out at my expense. But being human, that is one thing I do to work through it.

But you will NEVER hear or see me saying "I don't like her because of a),b),c),d)....." In fact you will never hear me say "I don't like her." At ALL. You are a Child of God, and Jesus Christ has deemed you just as worthy of compassion and love as the next person. So who am I to call you unworthy.

That doesn't mean I won't say "This really gets under my skin right now" or "That really hurt and makes my life harder."

But then I'm over it.

If you see me on the street the next day, I won't avoid you. I won't be unkind. I won't even think of what you did that hurt me so bad.

Because HE wouldn't do that to ME.

I may have a Hundred thousand faults that make me less than perfect.

But I trust that as long as I work every day to eliminate them to the very best of my ability, HE will look past them, and welcome me when the time comes to see Him again.

Who am I to hold YOUR Hundred thousand faults against YOU!

And Who are YOU to hold mine against me?

You are NOT HIM. And HE is GOD. If God can forgive when HE has more reason and power to NOT forgive, your inability to do so implies that you are superior to HIM.

As for ME, I am soooo grateful for His mercy and forgiveness. His unconditional love despite my failures and my screw ups that I will NEVER insult His graciousness by not extending mercy and forgiveness.

I will never deny others what He so lovingly gives me.

And I promise here and now that anyone who DOES deny others that mercy and forgiveness knows NOTHING of Him.

Parents

The past 4 days or so have been incredibly challenging.

It has been so reassuring to know how I feel about my children. And that I am God's child. And that He is a better parent than I am. That if you take all of the qualities of the best parents and multiply them to perfection, those are the qualities He possesses.

Which means that He cares about how hurt I am right now than I would if it was one of my children. That parent who says "You had better not hurt one of my children" is a mortal glimpse of how God would feel about it.

I GET that that means that offenses committed by me upon my fellow "Siblings" are just as harshly frowned upon.

And I pledge to do better at treating them right DAILY.

It is just so wonderful to know that I have a Parent who loves me more that I love my OWN children.

SO Good!

In happy moments, praise God.

In difficult moments, seek God.

In quiet moments, worship God.

In painful moments, trust God.

And in every moment, thank God.

Our House

We just spoke to Laramie, the Realtor handling the house in Tooele. It turns out that the family selling the house is signing papers to Lease it to someone for 2 years. We have to have a pre approval in hand by June 1st if we want to buy it.... which is what they prefer to do. So, if David gets this job in Alaska, and we have an actual offer from them by the 21st of May, we might actually have a chance. Otherwise, we can pretty much let it go and look elsewhere.

I know it's just a house. And I truly want what God has in mind for Our Family. Because I KNOW He cares, and knows best. But I have so many plans and dreams that work so well with this house that I can't even imagine finding one more perfect for us. And I really will be truly sad if we have to find a different house to turn into our home.