A word on Gratitude

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend.... He was always there for her.. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.

He asked her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.... See More

Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her Saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for beforeThey were yours, they were mine.'

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.


Life Is a Gift

Today before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion..

Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before whining about the distance you drive- Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still Around.

Something's Coming

There is a song from West Side Story that describes my exact feelings and thoughts righ not:

"Could be! Who knows? There's something due any day; I will know right away, Soon as it shows. It may come cannonballing down through the sky, Gleam in its eye, Bright as a rose!

Who knows? It's only just out of reach, Down the block, on a beach, Under a tree. I got a feeling there's a miracle due, Gonna come true, Coming to me! Could it be? Yes, it could. Something's coming, something good, If I can wait! Something's coming, I don't know what it is, But it is Gonna be great!

With a click, with a shock, Phone'll jingle, door'll knock, Open the latch! Something's coming, don't know when, but it's soon; Catch the moon, One-handed catch! Around the corner, Or whistling down the river, Come on, deliver To me! Will it be? Yes, it will. Maybe just by holding still, It'll be there!

Come on, something, come on in, don't be shy, Meet a guy, Pull up a chair! The air is humming, And something great is coming! Who knows? It's only just out of reach, Down the block, on a beach, Maybe tonight . . . "

Define Desires

David gave me a Blessing yesterday. It referred to my Wants, Needs, and Desires. It got me thinking about what exactly a Desire is. I realized that it fits right in the middle of wants and needs. Wants are things that you .... well, WANT ;-). But seriously, a want is something that would be nice to have. Trinkets, per say. Things to enjoy. Needs, of course are things that you either can't survive with out, or pretty close to can't survive without. And then there are desires. They are things that would really make life easier. For example: I have a washer and dryer set that I really like. Having a washer and dryer for us is a need. We COULD survive without them, but not very easily.... and would still have to have a way to get our clothes clean. So they are in the need category as something that we almost could not survive without since we don't have anywhere close to do laundry. However, the TYPE of washer and dryer we have are not critical to our ability to get our clothes clean. The washer and dryer set we had before did the job just fine. Not NEARLY as well, but adequate. Making the set we have a desire. Because the job they do really make things quite a bit easier for us.... and some of you know that laundry is a thing I get backed up on a lot. They meet the large load need and quick dry need better than others would. They are not say the "Cadillac" of appliances (Which would fit into the want category). But they aren't "old school" either. They are right in the middle. Another example: I WANT the job that pays a million dollars. We NEED a job that pays the bills and allows us to live. A job that pays enough for us to support ourselves and help our parents and others out is a DESIRE.

Anyhow, I am sooo Grateful for a Heavenly Father who cares about not only my needs, but my desires as well.

The Lord's Prayer

i know this is kind of... out of the ordinary. But I was thinking about this yesterday. I want this to become my "Mantra," "Blueprint," "Theme," what have you. How many of us really truly think about these words?

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the kingdom,
the power and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Amen
(King James Bible AD 1611)


"...Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us..... For Thine is the ....power and glory for ever."

I want to take it line by line.

*"Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven...." : Pretty self explanitory. But it is the TRUE plea for World order and peace.
*"Give us this day our daily bread...": This is one of the lines that stuck out the most. Jesus could get his "bread" for himself, most likely. But he asked His Father for it. We are looking at the possibility of having more money than we ever thought. And we NEED it to do the things we need to do in this life. But no matter how much money we have, we need to be asking Our Father daily to give us the things we need to sustain our lives. For "The Lord giveth, and He taketh away." We can lose millions of dollars just as fast as we can get it. We need to NEVER forget WHO gives us our "Daily Bread."
*"Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us...": This is our task in life.... to be willing to turn our "load,"sin,"frailties," etc over to the Lord, and ask him to remove them.... BUT we have to do it for others too!!!! We CANNOT ask for our imperfections to be forgiven and then refuse to overlook another's.
*"For THINE is the power and glory forever...": Again, pretty self explanitory. BUT we need to remember to give GOD the Glory. Not us. Not man. The power to give and to take away is HIS. Always. We are so insignificant in comparison. And for those who seek power, and glory... well, the best way to truly get it, is to become like Our Father.

Time to grow up!

I think I've finally done it. I've grown up ;-). Stopped lashing out and throwing tantrums. Stopped getting back at people. Stopped wanting fairness at any cost.

Today we got emails of documents that have been faxed to unemployment by Cameron. They are going all out in order for us to not get unemployment. Nadia, the "Girl" who ultimately put the final nail in David's coffin which resulted in his being fired, got fired months ago.... and David went to bat for her and got her job back. We felt sorry for her since she is a Single Mother. I have babysat for her. He also saved her from severe injury when she was taking a cap off unsafely. Ugh. Anyhow, she signed a statement stating that David was more or less a "Screwup" at work. She now has his job. And it's VERY hard not to hate her for it. SOme of the "Guys" who still work at Cameron have said "Nadia better never run into Dave Rose's Wife.... His wife would kick the crap out of her." Well, I have to admit that their thinking that I would win is flattering.... and really, boy would I love to give her a piece of my mind. BUT, I have decided growing up is better :-)

Maybe???

We went to the Mall tonight and I met Anna for myself. She told me the same things she told David about this job in Libya. She is either telling the truth, or a SERIOUSLY good liar ! There were no holes in her story, and it was the exact same story she told David. I asked her what the chances were of her "Taking my Husband off of my hands" ;-) . She said "Pretty good." Her Brother is supposed to be here Friday. So, here's what we've been told:

* if she can get David on the first "wave" of shipments, they will fly him to Austin, Tx just after New Year's. From Austin, he will go with the equipment they are sending to Libya by convoy to Pennsylvania.... it has to leave on Jan 10th. Then they will fly him home for 2 weeks. He will leave after those 2 weeks for Libya in order to arrive when the equipment does.

* They will get his passport for him

* He will be staying in a 5 bedroom "trailer" with 4 other guys

* They are working out a Full benefit pckg for Health Insurance where we would have zero co pay or out of pocket expense

* They are also working on a "College Fund" for the Children of their workers. Which would include the option of an internship during the summer with the company while the Children are in College. Appearently they have rigs here in the US.

* David will be gone for three months at a time and then home for three weeks.

So, now we'll see what happens. I KNOW it sounds too good to be true in MANY ways.

Tender Mercies

My life is filled with such things. I found myself the other day, wanting to call and share my contentment with everyone I could.

Today was a prime example. David has been helping our Elders Quorum President build a garage. This Wonderful Man paid David for his help even though we didn't expect him to. David was not working, therefore there was no reason not to help. But he paid David anyway which has helped us purchase some of the things we really needed/wanted.

With Christmas coming up, we are low on cash. We really want to spend Christmas in Salt Lake. And as my previous Blog states, if everything goes well with David's appeals hearing on the 17th, that shouldn't be a problem... but that is still to be determined... and a whole week away.

Today, we got some of the things we needed, leaving us with just enough money left for gas to get us through the next week. David had to run to the store tonight to get some groceries. We didn't bother with him taking money for gas, it's a short trip.

On his way home from the store, he ran out of gas. He called my phone, which was in the car with him. So he then called the Elders Quorum President with just the hope that he could give him a ride home to get some money, and bring a gas can so he could put enough gas in the car to get to the gas station.

The Elders Quorum President picked David up, they went and got his gas can with a gallon of gas in it, bypassed our house, and went and got the van to the gas station where he filled up our tank without using a penny of our money. PLUS The Elders Quorum President brought up the fact that he still owed David for one day of work, which we weren't worried about at all. David told him this, and he told David that he was, and paid him. SO, I was mulling the situation over in my head. Thinking about how if only David hadn't gone to the store, he wouldn't have run out of gas.... this was before I knew about what The Elders Quorum President had done for us (David had text messaged the computer to let me know he was out of gas and someone was coming to help). I realized that if he hadn't gone, we probably would have all tried to go somewhere in the next couple of days, and gotten stuck with all 6 of us in the van rather than just David. That would have been a very Yucky situation!

Then when David got home and told me about the full tank of gas AND getting paid.... add that to the blessing of David being alone when he ran out.... well, let's just say "My cup runneth over" right now ;-).

Thank God for Tender Mercies! We will be going to Salt Lake for Christmas after all.

Exciting things in the works

I'm finding myself So excited, for what could be, yet so nervous for what might not. Anna's (the Lady that supposedly has the $1,000,000 job to offer ) Brother is supposed to be coming to Rock Springs on the 18th or 19th to discuss the job with David and one other guy. IF it really comes to be, then David should be leaving for Texas in about a month. Then, probably by Feb, he'll be on his way out of the country. Sooo, it brings up the amazing possibility that we may be able to buy a house, a truck, and a few other things that we really need but can't afford on our "income" ;-). Of course it also brings up new worries... I mean My Husband will be in a foreign country all but 12 weeks out of the year. And it's not the SAFEST area in the world right now. And there a few other things that worry me. BUT....

And then there's the let down if he DOESN'T get the job... That's a large sum of money to catch a glimpse of, and then watch it pass you by. True, money's not everything.... but it sure makes things easier.

Which of course then leads into the other thing. David's employer lied to unemployment about why they let him go. So he was denied unemployment. Which means we have literally been living off of ZERO income. David appealed their decision, but it's taken a while to get a hearing. So, on the 17th, he has that. If they decide to give him unemployment, we will get a lump sum of somewhere between $4,000 and $7,000 just in time (crossing my fingers, eyes, and toes) for Christmas. And then we will get about $1600 per month afterwards until David finds a job. Which is a Whole lot better than nothing!

So, here's hoping and praying.

Cannot say it enough!

The past 3 months have really been a learning session for me. It's been way hard learning to be ok with and relax over the fact that David doesn't have a job. He has applied for so many... and he QUALIFIES for so many, and we need to be able to take care of our Family.



This is where our WONDERFUL, Loving, Concerned Heavenly Father has taught us so much. He has taken such good care of us. And I don't mean just in the basic things. I mean in the details of what we need. For example, the only bills we have that are not rent or utilities are our washer and dryer, the Girls bunkbeds, and one of our tv's. We have been pretty much assured by our Bishop that if we have to let them go, he will help us acquire something that will "do." I am me. And I don't want something that will get us by. Is it better than nothing... of course it is. But I LOVE my washer and dryer. And I really like the Girls beds too. We have had to deal with the possibility of letting them go. But every time, something has worked out where we've been able to keep them.

Maybe it shouldn't matter so much, but to me, it does. And it shows me that He cares about our needs on a personal level. It tells me that I am important to Him as ME.

Anyway, I am very Grateful for the many blessings I have recieved on a daily basis.

I was going over the things we have waiting for the Girls for Christmas, and even though we basically have no money, they are still getting several presents each from us. Some of them, I've bought over the past couple of years. It makes me feel good to be able to pull out a new pair of boots for Elysia so that she can go out in the snow and not have to worry . And When Elizabeth then asks Santa for a new pair because hers are wearing out, I can just pull a pair out of the storage room. All three Girls in fact have full sets of winter necessities in their sizes because in previous years, I have bought ahead. That too, is directly related to a Loving Heavenly Father who gave me the insight to get things that we didn't need imediately and had no idea David would be without a job in the middle of winter two years, or one year later.

Jacob's New Achievements

The week before Thanksgiving, Jacob started cereal, rolled from back to front, and began moving significantly away from the spot where we would lay him on the floor. He is fascinated by the things around him, and especially loves "helping" us do the Girls hair. He gets his fingers in it, and sometimes eats it while he lays in whomever's lap that happens to be multitasking between holding him, and combing hair. He has started diverting things that we have in our hands to his mouth and can steer realitively well when aiming for his mouth.

More to be Thankful for

I know it's December now, but I am grateful for so many things that I sometimes don't think of them all at once.

I am thankful for every day that Elizabeth walks through the front door after school safe and sound.

For Abby's little "words" that sometimes make no sense.

And for Babies (4 months through 6 yrs) who find me worth watching over toys and movies.

Judge not that ye be not judged

This past weekend was a profound weekend for me. I have had to remember that I am a Mature adult, and want to be seen as a Lady, not a Whiner. Whew! It's been tough. it's been hard because I cannot stand people who are closed minded and judgemental. Nor can I stand people who judge based off of very little life/world experience and are so certain that the way they view the world is correct, and anyone who disagrees is wrong. To some of you, this may be harsh. To others.. well, I KNOW some of you will get exactly what I mean... If you have NEVER lived outside of Utah, Never lived on your own (This means you were both not living with your significant other, AND not living with your parents) and/or if you have never had 0 money and a family to support, you don't know a whole lot about REAL LIFE. Yes, I am very sure of myself in this. Because I was once someone who had never left the security of the Salt Lake Valley except to vacation. I once moved from my Mother's to my Boyfriend's, and I once had 0 worries about how to support my family if and when I ever had one.

This is the "list" I came up with of criteria anyone who has the "right" to judge me has to meet before they have enough knowledge of who I am and what I've been through to judge me accurately.

*If you don't know the answer to at least ONE of the following questions, you don't know me well enough to judge me:
1- Why is Jacob not named David Tyler?
2- What took place Christmas night 2 years ago?
3- Why did I get a restraining order against, Divorce, and then Re-marry David after only 3 months of being divorced?
4- What incident in my life has made the biggest impact on how I have spent my Adult years?
5- Who raised me?
6- Why didn't I go on a mission?
7- How close did I come to going on a mission?
8- If you interviewed My Girls about Me, what would they say?
9- What do My Girls do when they feel I am threatened, and whom do they react this way towards?
10- How do I feel about the "Last Days"?
11- What kind of food storage do I have?
12- What do I consider critical items to own?

*If I wouldn't call you in a "Life or Death" situation, you don't know me well enough to judge me.

These are easy to answer if you've ever taken the time to get to know me. If you haven't.... please spare the judgements. They don't help either of us.