My Precious One

My precious one, my tiny one, lay down your pretty head.
My dearest one my sleepy one, its time to go to bed

My precious one, my darling one; don't let your lashes weep.
My cherished one, my weary one; it's time to go to sleep.

Just bow your head and give your cares to me.
Just close your eyes and fall into the sweetest dream, cause in my loving arms.
You're safe as you will ever be so hush my dear and sleep.

And in your dreams you'll ride on angels' wings.
Dance with the stars and touch the face of god
And if you should awake...

My precious one, my tiny one, I'll kiss your little cheek
And underneath the smiling moon
I'll send you back to sleep.

What it means to me

"When you smile at me, I cry
And to save your life I'll die
With a romance that is pure heart,
You are my dearest part
Whatever it requires,
I live for your desires
Forget my own, needs will come before
Who could ever love you more?"

Those words, "And to save your life I'll die" are pretty basic if you're a Parent, I think. But I'd like to take a little bit of a deeper look into them. Because for me, being the best Parent I can means that I would LIVE for my children over literally dying for them. They need me to give my life in a different way. And for them I am willing to let the parts of me that are not beneficial to them die. The Single Me. The Reckless Me. The Shrew in me... to an extent ;-) I truly am willing to give my life for them.

Miracle

You're my life's one Miracle,
Everything I've done that's good
And you break my heart with tenderness,
And I confess it's true
I never knew a love like this till you....

You're the reason I was born
Now I finally know for sure
And I'm overwhelmed with happiness
So blessed to hold you close
The one that I love most
With all the future has so much for you in store
Who could ever love you more?

The nearest thing to heaven,
You're my angel from above
Only God creates such perfect looooove

When you smile at me, I cry
And to save your life I'll die
With a romance that is pure heart,
You are my dearest part
Whatever it requires,
I live for your desires
Forget my own, needs will come before
Who could ever love you more?

Well there is nothing you could ever do,
To make me stop, loving you
And every breath I take,
Is always for your sake
You sleep inside my dreams and know for sure
Who could ever love you more?

To Make You Feel My Love

When the rain's blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
So no doubt in my mind where you belong


I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on a rolling sea
And down the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
But you ain't seen nothin' like me yet

There ain't nothin' that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
Make you happy, make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love

October Begins

October began with a bang pretty much from moment one....or two I guess since the 1st was pretty calm, but the 2nd was INTENSE.

I've been stuggling with my health since before Bella's birth which is a big part of what I think compelled by body to get her here early. As I watch her I am thinking she may not have been 100% ready to be on this side of the womb. She may have been forced come a tiny bit before she was ready for MY health sake. Who knows. This is an area outside of most mortals' expertise.

Anyway.....

On October 2nd, I was listening to our church's semi annual General Conference, and I heard this talk which just BROKE the damn of frustration and pain I was feeling. And I cried harder than I have EVER cried in my life. I cried because I have gone to God soooo many times over the past few months and BEGGED for my body and health to be returned to the condition it was in months ago when I was in generally comfortably good health. And this talk to me was about how simple it is to "ask and recieve" what we need from Him, and yet here I was feeling that no matter how hard I asked, I couldn't get what I needed. The man giving the talk had once prayed for a quarter, and recieved it almost immediately. And here I've prayed for but can't even have my health back. I am sure this is how many a Cancer Patient or someone who has lost a child due to health issues has felt. And that is how I felt. And I just CRIED. I cried with bitterness. I cried like there was a bottomless well of tears at my disposal, and I had decided to use every one of them. I mean it when I say I have NEVER cried like that before.

Fortunately, the talk following that one was this one. And it kind of answers that unanswerable "Why me?" Which calmed me enough to pull myself together and get on with life.

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Despite the health issues it caused to get her here, I am so happy to have Bella. I am so blessed. I am sooo grateful that I have MY challenges vs someone elses. I am grateful that most of what I have to complain about has a known fix. Even though sometimes it might not be a quick or easy fix, none of my complaints are terminal. Just inconvenient and yes, sometimes painful. But NOT hopeless. I have a WONDERFUL Family. My kids and husband make my life so rich and meaningful!

To Sum it all up ~ I LOVE her! ♥

On Wed, Sept 28th 2011, 3 weeks and 1 day before her Due Date, and 1 week and 1 day before I was scheduled to be induced (which ironically is tomorrow ;-) Arabella Kaite Rose decided she was tired of the whole pregnancy thing.... as was I. And at 7:30 am my water most DEFINITELY broke. And at 9:28 am, after a realitively short, but very intense labor, with not ONE single push from me.... I do not exagerate here, she catapulted herself into this world weighing only 7 lbs 4 oz (Which is over a lb less than 2 of her sisters, and almost a lb less than her other sister and her brother.)

Things have been an adjustment for SURE. But I am soooooo happy to have this 5th Little Baby, and 4th Little Girl, join our Family.

She brings up the tail for our Family as we are very content to be a Family of 7, and this pregnancy was AMAZINGLY hard during the last 2 months and I truly question my ability to survive another one and not leave my 5 Babies without their Mother.

Arabella is the name of one of Queen Elizabeth I's cousin's and I LOVE it. And Kaite is Kate with a special I for Ivy who has really been an AMAZING Friend and example to our Family (Not to mention taking the other 4 kids at a moment's notice when Bella was born!)