When I said enough

"Boundaries are healthy. You get to say who is welcome in your private spaces and how they are welcome there. They can choose to comply or they can choose to leave. If having them in your life is more important than this choice you will choose to make allowances for them."


This is so very true.  And yet, the world we live in preaches entitlement.  If I have it, you are entitled to it.

Being Empathic, I VERY seriously care about doing what I can to make those I want a relationship with as comfortable as possible.

Let me tell you, some people will NEVER be comfortable.

I exhibit ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) tendencies as well as PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) symptoms.  There are NO words to tell you what it feels like in my head and body when my space or routine is violated.

The previous post shows a little bit of this.

To go back to the previous post for a moment, As I stated, I had a party.... gathering a few days ago.  It was scheduled for 3 PM. At 2 PM, I had to go to the grocery store for snacks. I am used to almost NOBODY coming to my parties.... or gatherings. But I DID know a couple of people were coming.  At 2:45, I got a message from Marianne asking if I was home.  At the same time, I got a call from home saying that someone was knocking at the door.  I told Elysia to open the door.  I NEVER say that.  But this time, I did.  It was Marianne.  When I returned home, right at 3, there were 4 Ladies in my home, plus Quintus, the neighbor boy.

This scenario would normally send me OVER THE EDGE.  And yet, this time, it was easy to not stress.  Because they were people who KNOW me and CARE about me. All shoes were left at the door because they KNEW that was the rule in my home.  And they respected that as guests in my home, that was their obligation.

As opposed to a number of other people who repeatedly ask to leave their shoes on, or find a way around my rules.

Let me be very clear: The difference between a classy person and a not so classy person is whether they try to bend your house rules or accept them.

I have allowed some people to walk on my carpet.... something that makes me NUTS.... because I felt so sorry for them when I asked them to take off their shoes or not come in and they just wouldn't leave them at the door.

THE prime culprit is my FIL. And yet, I wanted his acceptance.  I wanted a relationship with him. And I would compensate later by becoming INCREDIBLY OCD as I would clean up after his visit.

It took me over 12 years of sacrificing my boundaries in exchange for an ATTEMPT at acceptance.  An acceptance that NEVER came.

And so now, I enforce boundaries.  Because they protect Me and MY FAMILY,  And WE are our most important asset,