What I just realized

Whew! Today is a better day than I was expecting 24 hours ago. Problem is, that 24 hours ago, I had fried chicken at my disposal, and now I have none! But of course then, I didn't feel up to eating it, and now I'm all for that idea. Word to the wise: Never mess with a Pregnant Woman and her fried chicken! That's ok, fried chicken is usually replacible.Yesterday SUCKED! Ok, it was 50/50. It was actually a pretty good day with a really bad side. I enjoyed getting out with the Girls. Always enjoy hanging out with the Wallace Family. Got 2 new books, didn't loose my temper with the Girls, and the day ended peacefully. Then there was the flip side. I felt horrible! David was being mean, and I could only guess that I was on my way to filing for a divorce I should have just stuck with the first time around.I am a surivalist. I realized this. I plan to survive crisis. I am willing to scheme if I have to though I try to never step outside of realitvely ethical and reasonable boundries.When the storm is over, I expect to be the one standing on solid, dry ground with my Children in tow. HOWEVER, I definitely have realized that David is someone I feel incomplete without. I am a strong, independant person. I can do it on my own come Hell or High tide. But I prefer not too. I do better, have a better outlook, get more accomplished, am a better Mother, and a better person when things are solid and well between David and Myself. I need him. He's not as expendable as I think I have always tried to make myself think he is. I know that prolly sounds horrible, but that's how I work. I don't like to think that I am dependant in ANY way on somone else. That "weakens" me, and I do not like it.BUT, it's true. I need the balance that being married to him provides. Not to mention my Girls. I don NOT want them to grow up in a single parent home without their Dad.