One Nation Under God

Jon McNaughton

This painting brought tears to my eyes. I asked David if we could use some of our tax refund $ to buy it, and he was skeptical (it's not cheap). When he asked what made me want to buy it, I started crying and choked out "Because it makes me cry." He immediately agreed to the purchase. <3

Nearer My God to Thee

Nearer, my God, to Thee, nearer to Thee!
E'en though it be a cross that raiseth me;
Still all my song would be nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer, my God, to Thee, nearer to Thee!

Though like the wanderer, the sun gone down,
Darkness be over me, my rest a stone;
Yet in my dreams I'd be nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer, my God, to Thee, nearer to Thee!

There let the way appear steps unto heav'n;
All that Thou sendest me in mercy giv'n;
Angels to beckon me nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer, my God, to Thee, nearer to Thee!

Then with my waking thoughts bright with Thy praise,
Out of my stony griefs Bethel I'll raise;
So by my woes to be nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer, my God, to Thee, nearer to Thee!

Or if on joyful wing, cleaving the sky,
Sun, moon, and stars forgot, upwards I fly,
Still all my song shall be, nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer, my God, to Thee, nearer to Thee!

******************************************

I have been blessed with the Gift if Empathy. My Patriarchal Blessing speaks of being able to share others joys and sorrows.

This is a painful, yet rich Gift to have.

Fortunately, it is a very God like, and Christ like quality when used correctly.

I can only imagine how painful it must be for the Savior to stand, hand open offering relief, love, joy, compassion and so many other gifts as people look at His outstretched hand, and say "No thank you. I'm fine on my own."

"I don't need the help. I don't need your hand outs. I don't need your thoughtfulness. I don't need your gifts."

I think many people are oblivious to what a slap in the face it is when someone offers service with a genuine heart, and it is declined over and over.

I may not have much to give, but what I have I give.

One of the conditions to our salvation is whether we fully became what we had the potential to become, or not.

What then, do you think it does for a person who has so much to give, but is never allowed the opportunity?

It makes them feel unfulfilled. It lowers their feeling of accomplishment. It lowers their feeling of worth.

It is a blessing for the person giving service, just as much as the person recieving service when it is allowed to be given.

*************************************************

I am so far from perfect. I have so far to go. So much I need to perfect. So many changes to make.

But when I leave this testing ground, I look forward to at LEAST being able to say "I took every opportunity presented to me to help my Brothers and Sisters."

*************************************************

I will forever be saddened and amazed at how many people will turn down dinner, compassion, friendship.

My Gift to You

I cannot buy you expensive gifts. I cannot send you on a trip around the world. I cannot take away all of your problems. Here is what I can give you:

I can take your children for an afternoon so that you can have a break.

I can get your family into the zoo for free so that you and your children can have an afternoon out with minimal cost.

I can bring you groceries so that you don't have to go out with a new baby or a sick child.

I can make you dinner.

I can give you a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear any day or night of the week.

If I have an item you need, and it's not in use, it's YOURS.

ALL you have to do is accept.

AH-HA!

I LOVE "AH HA" moments. When something ... the meaning, or the reason for something, just clicks into place. When I understand something that was an anomaly for so long. Some a mystery for over a decade. It just does so much for me to finally understand! :-) Now on to the NEXT mystery ;-)

So Grateful, So Bitter!!!!

I come from good stock. My Mom is very generous. My Grandma was the same. My Children are good and kind. My Husband is so far above the average "Guy". See all these examples of Goodness I have around me?! It makes me feel soooo blessed and grateful!!!

My Mom went to the store for me today so I wouldn't have to go out with all of the kids. You don't know how many afternoons when I was on my own in Wyoming that I have wished for someone who would do that! THEN, she collected 1/2 the cost of my groceries (her request not my offer) from me and called it fair. She then allowed me to use her Debit card to pay for our dinner... I was $3 short for pizza. WOW! I feel so grateful for all she does.

David's Family is generally kind as well. HOWEVER, and yes, this IS the bitter part, I sometimes TRULY feel so let down by the interactions (or lack of interaction) We as a Family have with them.

I feel that priorities in the Rose Family are often seriously in disaray.

I feel that their priorities are going to seriously handicap their relationship with My Children. And that bothers me... especially when we just moved almost 200 miles to make sure they had a chance at a good, solid relationship with them.

My Son cannot visit His Grandparents because there are too many breakables this time of year. And that makes it hard for me to want to visit the other times of the year.

There also seems to be a large amount of favoritism where there is supposedly none. I KNOW I've blogged about that part before.

Let me just say, if My Mom is ever NOT around, it will DEVASTATE My "Little" Family. We are soooo utterly grateful for the time she devotes to us. For her willingness to step outside her "comfort zone" to take on all FIVE of my Children so that some of MY days can be easier!!!!

Overwhlemed!

WOW! I believe there IS a God more today than I did yesterday.... and there was no question yesterday in my mind or heart.

We are studying George Albert Smith in church right now. He said: "Our Heavenly Father has said in very plain terms that he who says he loves God and does not love his brother is not truthful." AMEN!!!!!!

Now, I believe in my Heart and Soul, that God knew that today was the day in the History of the world, that we needed the lesson from manual on Pres Smith about Loving our Neighbor. I believe that 200 years ago when the LDS church was organized by divine revelation, that God had it planned for us to have this lesson on this day.

YAY!!!!! It has been such a blessing to me to have this lesson taught on my 1st day attending church in our new Ward.

******************************************************

The 2nd major part of whaT I'm saying in this entry is this:

I KNOW with everything in me that we were meant to move to where we are now. We couldn't move here a year ago. We couldn't move here next year. We had to do it NOW.

And I have a specific purpose.... or specific purposes here.


YAY!!!!!

******************************************************

Everything I do is multi dimentional. My brain, though slow in some ways, works multi dimentionally.... ALWAYS.


For example: Elizabeth's name. Dimension 1: I like tthe name, it's pretty. Dimension 2: It means "House of god." Dimension 3: She was MEANT to have that name.

That's just how everything is with me. And YES, it really does apply to EVERYTHING.

Now I know this is a post that doesn't seem very organized. But when I comes down to it: All 3 of my points are reasons why my faith is stronger today.

Back in Utah

Well, here I am. Back in Utah. And happy to be. It's been a few days, and the apartment is coming together. We had Dan and Rachel over for dinner, and it was nice to have it be so casual rather than either them having to travel or us. I'm truly grateful for this past year. We've lived with them for days at a time when visiting and I truly ♥ them!!!!

David had to leave to go back to work tonight. I am sad to see him go. I think this move is good for our Family and our relationship.

It's definitely an adjustment. We're so used to the middle of nowhere, and the sheer # of people here is hard for us. But we like our new home so far, and again...being so close to Family.

It's been so strange to go to Target instead of Walmart. I ♥ Target.

A post I've been meaning to make but haven't had time for with the move is a list of all of the decisions I look back and see as life altering. So, I want to share my top BEST decisions:

1- to Graduate from High School. It seems like such a no brainer, but I see anything good I did before the age of 19 cumulates in this one decision.

2- to move to Virginia for a year.

3- to join the Military when I did.

4- to jump at the oportunity to be with David.

5- to have Elizabeth

6- to move with David to Colorado. It waS a hard time for our marriage, but we still bonded with eachother.... AND Elizabeth.

7- to have Elysia... and keep her. I almost gave her up because our lives were so filled with contention.

8- to have more than 2 children

9- to move to Wyoming.

10- to divorce David ( I "skipped" having Abby. Not because she wasn't one of the 6 BEST "things" that ever happened to me, but because she was only partially a decision (per #8) and mostly a surprise)

11- to let Jared go and reunite with David

12- to have Jacob

13- to homeschool for the past 2 years

14- to have Bella.

15- to come back to Utah.

For all the stupid things I've done, there are the 15 things I've done right. And they have truly made my life rich!