I don't see My Husband for 4 weeks at a time. I manage EVERYTHING while he is gone.... If something goes wrong, I'm the ONLY one there to handle it. I oversee 5 VERY high maintenance Children... their schooling, their manners, their health, their safety. Occasionally, I take on Friends' children... some high maintenance... because I care about the people in my life.

I struggle to balance a very full life that doesn't always go smoothly. But I do it. I have been through Many hard life scenarios. I have been humbled Many times. Sometimes we haven't known how our BASIC bills were going to get paid, and if there is negotiating or pleading that has to be done, I am the one who has to do it. Maintaining balance, also MY job alone.

And to compensate, and make things a little sweeter, and easier, when we have the ability, we sometimes spend our resources on unnecessary AS WELL as necessary luxuries. I have a Husband who fortunately is willing to spoil me a bit ;-) when he can to help ease the stress. And we like to keep busy having as much fun as we can. Yesterday things were so hard, and I was so lonely and depressed, I considered medication..... NOT for the first time. And today, My Husband let me go and buy a "treat" to give me an extra "pick me up" because that is the ONLY thing he can do to help from 1 mile south of the Canadian border... 1200 miles away, to show that he appreciates my efforts (sometimes, I don't even have the "luxury" of speaking to him on a daily basis)

I DO NOT have room in my life for extra NEGATIVITY. AT ALL. I am CONSTANTLY having to defend myself. And it should NOT be to My "Friends". If you want that title, you should be a positive in my life, not a drain on the balance of positivity that I have to fight every day to maintain.

If I remove you from my life, it's NOT because I don't care.... it's because I don't feel that YOU do. 

I want to make sure I point out, that I L O V E my life.  I L O V E what I do.  But that doesn't mean it's not H A R D!!!!