Learning a lesson I should have already learned.

I grew up without a Priesthood Holder in my home. What a blessing?! See, I didn't have it, but that taught me how important it is. I Know that growing up without a Dad was one of the greatest blessings I could have hoped for. Because it meant that I had ONE option: My Heavenly Father. He's very literally the only Father I've ever had. (yes, I have an earthly, biological one... he's just MIA)

Anyhow, I learned in my teens to be assertive when I needed help. I have had Priesthood Blessings from Boyfriends, Friends, Uncles, Bishops, and of course, David.

I have learned that when the Urge comes to ask for a blessing, I usually need it within 24 hours or I regret it. Since last summer, I have had a multitude of them. A lot of times they are pretty much the same thing. But they are reassuring, and confirming. I have learned that if I get out a pen and notebook, they say more and are more insightful.

This pregnancy has seen it's share of blessings. Not many people know this, but I actually have a sort of weak immune system. To the point where David and I fighting (the stress it causes) literally makes me sick for a week at a time. It was HORRIBLE before the divorce. I was very worn down, and more fragile than anyone would have guessed.

So, it has been reassuring to hear over, and over, that my body will heal and be healthy for the delivery of this Baby.

I have also been told that he will not come before he is ready. This used to reassure me because there were times when I worried I'd have him TOO early. The past weeks I have realized what I didn't before: That I need to relax and be patient because no matter how ready I am to be done with the pregnancy part, HE may not be and I need to accept that.

David gave me a blessing yesterday. I have been cranky, moody, sensitive, emotional, you name it over knowing that it's any day, but it not happening yet.

I have ALL the symptoms of pre labor. But it is still PRE. That has been wearing heavily on my patience.

A lot of it, I think came from knowing that I needed to give my mom 3 hours notice to be here so that she could take the Girls. That was hard. It's frustrating sometimes to live so far away from our family and support system. When Abby was ready to be born born, my mom was 15 min away, and I had a whole list of people I could call instantly. PERFECT. Here, there's almost no one I feel comfortable calling to take all 3 girls at once. Everyone is already so busy with their 4 kids. And there's not the loyalty like with my Friends in Utah, because we've only known eachother a few years, vs a lifetime. It's to be ecpected, it's just hard in a bind.

Anyhow, I was getting cranky, and not being the Mom I wanted to be.

In the blessing, I was again blessed to be healthy. And told that I needed to be patient and learn to trust My Father. That this Baby's arrival has a specific day and time appointed, and though it will be soon, it - like everything else, will be in GOD's time... not mine.

When the blessing was over, I felt sheepish. (As well as comforted) This is a lesson I should have learned a 100 times over by now.

So, I will wait. And enjoy the hours or days I have left to get ready.