Thanks Giving

I just read My Sister in Law's Blog, and Deborah, I hope it's ok if I copy you.... What you said was so eloquent and precisely put. I hope you won't be mad. You and I think a lot alike, and are grateful for many of the same things. Since I couldn't say it better myself, but share the same thoughts, I hope you'll understand. I will put a * by the ones I copied to make sure you get the credit for putting words to my thoughts so well. :-) Love ya Sis!


I am so very thankful for:

• *my husband - he does so much for me and our family. I don't know what I'd do without him. David is one of a kind! I know for certain that no other Man in the WORLD could be what he is for me.
  
• My Children - each so sweet, loving, thoughtful, beautiful and fulfilling! They are the substance in my universe that gives me purpose. There are not words to truly express what they do for me.
  
• my ability to bring children into this world, and that my Babies are healthy and strong.
  
• the rest of my family - they are wonderful and have made me who I am today.*
• my friends - life would be dull without friendship and I have some pretty amazing friends who I love and care for that mean the world to me.*
• a home - someplace to hang my hat and be safe from the weather. A place of my own that I can fill with love.*
• Financial provisions - that we are able to pay for those things that we need in life. We FORTUNATELY are not as bad off in this aspect as some would expect... especially with David being unemployed.... we have still been well provided for by our Heavenly Father.
  
• Insurance for the Children - so that we can take them to a doctor when needed and not have to worry about out of pocket expenses.
• Music - nothing better can express emotion than music.*
• the Church/Gospel - I definitely don't know where I'd be without it. It is so true and pure.*
• Temples - where else can we feel true peace and that constant loving spirit.
• Transportation - I'm thankful that we have a working car and are able to get to and from where we need to without much difficulty.*
• my trials - they only make me stronger*
• books - i love to read and sometimes need that little escape from reality.*
• Tender Mercies - need I say more?*
• all the little things - there are more little things we take for granted than we realize. Our Father in Heaven has given us so much, we can't fully comprehend his love for us.*
• My Savior - he is always there when I need him, and he knows how I feel.
• an education - some people don't even get that, I'm grateful that I was able to go to school and graduate high school and have the opportunity to go to college.*
• food and drink - I'm thankful that i have the food and drink I need to survive and that I don't have to go without, and that I have easy access to what I need.*
• NEVER having to go without any of the things My Family and I truly need.
• A true relationship with My Heavenly Father.
• Our Health - having a healthy family is truly a blessing.
• Knowing that everything will work out and I will be taken care of.
• A country and time in the history of the world where I can be who I am without having to live in fear of losing my life.
  

Millionaires????

Ok. So today David called me and said "What would you think about a job where I was working in South America for 3 months, home for 3 weeks, and then back to South America..... that paid $1,000,000?" I said "OMGOSH!!!! I'd say TAKE IT!!!!"

Well, come to find out, the people around him were IDIOTS! It's Libya, in AFRICA!!!!!

However, I've been rolling this over and over in my mind. If it's a "real" job, and not smoke, I think we really honestly might get it.

My reasons are very Spiritually based.

- Both of our Patriarchal Blessings speak of being able to be taken care of well financially
- I truly believe that we could and WOULD do a lot of good with that kind of $
- SO many things point to this possibly being why we are in the situation we are in right now
- With possibly 2 more children yet to join our Family... well, Kids are the most expensive kind of Toy ;-)
- David working outside of the U.S. has been something that we have been trying for since last year.

If this REALLY comes to pass, I will possibly be moving back to Salt Lake. But if not, will not be moving any farther away. I need my support system (Mom, In-laws, Friends).

Anyway, I actually feel like this might be an ok desire. I know I have a specific mission on earth. And I feel like this will help with that mission.

I guess we will see!

Thanksgiving, Day 5

Looks like this will be an every OTHER day thing ;-)

1) I am Grateful to have a full fridge, cupboards, and foodstorage shelves

2) I am Grateful for a Father who loves me enough to give me what I need ( What I think I need, and what I didn't know I need!)

Thanksgiving, Day 3

I didn't have a chance yesterday to post, so I'll list 2 things I'm grateful for today.

1) Having My Family safe and together

2) Never having to go without food or a Home

Answers

I must be DESTINED to have to be ABSOLUTELY PERFECT before I leave this life ;-). Not necessarily a bad thing, however, the road there is rough. I was actually told in a blessing, and my Mom has said it several times, but I am a piece of coal that is a diamond in the making, and all of the rough edges need to be chiseled away bit by bit as well as EXTREME pressure being needed to turn black and rough into clear and smooth.

About the same time of year seems to be when things are hardest. Sept to Jan is the time frame when I seem to have to work the hardest, and there are lessons to be learned. By Summer, I seem to be able to sit back and enjoy a bit more.

Right now the struggle is patience. I have been told over and over that I will be taken care of, and have what I need.... in time. The Lord's Time.... not mine. That is always hard for me. But I am so grateful for the reassurance that at the end of the trial, I will be ok.

One thing I am learning is that I know the answers to most of my questions. I didn't realize this until very recently. And it has been good practice in learning to trust myself.

Thanksgiving, Day 1

I really like the idea of finding something I'm grateful for every day this month.

Today, I'm INCREDIBLY grateful for my ability to bear Children. And for the Children I have!

Sometimes it's not as good as you thought

SOOOO, David has been working for our Elders Quorum Pres. this week which is awesome because he pays David $100 a day. That MORE than covers the $240 for my pictures and perfume.....

I went out and bought my perfume tonight... they didn't have the set that I wanted, and I paid $17 more than I expected, but it's what I've been wanting to wear every time I 've gone out - for months. I called the picture company and they are sending me a proof sheet so I can order my CD and pics. And all of a sudden, I am not so sure I want either the perfume OR the pictures. Yes, because they are pictures... and pictures of my Kids, non the less, I will probably still get them.... however, maybe the $200 is for a later date. And the perfume.... I still LOVE it! It is still my favorite. But I don't need it like I thought I did yesterday.

It's amazing the lessons I've learned over the past few months. It's amazing the power $ has. We've had all of our needs taken care of. We've not had to go with out ANYTHING we really needed..... and now that I have some $ to "play" with, I could take it or leave it.

Why I am the way I am

I was just reading a Friends post about her 3 yr old getting lost at a park. I just have to say, that like her, my worst nightmare is something bad happening to my children. I probably seem over bearing in a lot of ways. But let me say this, I am DETERMINED to keep my children safe. They are my LIFE. Everything else can come and go. I could not go on without my Babies.

Lat school year, Elizabeth's bus stop was out our back door. I loved being able to watch her without having to go outside. It made it easy to take care of the other 2 girls and not neglect Elizabeth's safety.

This year, for INSANELY stupid reasons, her bus stop has moved about 1 yard to the corner. It's almost no difference at all, yet it's just far enough that I can no longer see her from our apartment. It has been really nice having David around, because I INSIST on one of us walking her to her bus stop, and standing with her until she is on the bus. After it pulls away, we go home. A pain when I'm here by myself. But I know that my children INSIDE are safe, and i would hate to not be with her ONE time, and never see her again.

I don't go and get her from the bus stop because I figure that there is only a 5 minute window between when I hear the bus pull up until she should be at the door. Whereas in the morning, it would be 8 hours before I would be expecting her.

Anyway, My children are in my line of sight every second of every day that I can manage. At the store, every single one of them is in or on the shopping cart in some way. I hear stories of children wandering off in the store. That will not be my child. Not even Elizabeth walks. Paranoid??? I couldn't care less!!! They're safe and not getting into trouble. When we go places, we almost always take the double stroller and I have Jacob and Abby strapped in, with my older girls holding on.

Halloween

Halloween this year was awesome! We lounged around for the 1st part of the day. Around 12:30, I started getting everyone ready. Elizabeth was Dorothy from the Wizard of OZ. Elysia was a Fairy. Abby was a Bumble Bee. And Jacob was a Lion.

At about 2:30 pm, we headed for Rock Springs. We went straight to the mall. We get the Children's picture taken every year there on Halloween. They were just setting up... we were their first customers which meant we were out of there before the crowd hit! Then it was off to Ginger's for dinner and trick or treating.

The Girls had a Blast! After Trick or Treating, we went back to Ginger's to have dessert and hang out.

We left around 10:30. The Girls were exhausted!

My Birthday

My Birthday was Mon, Oct 19th. I was not quite sure what to expect with our limited funds since David lost his job in August. I joked that David needed to have a job by my birthday because the gifts I wanted would cost him approx $240.

On October 3rd, we had Family Pictures taken. We got a free 11x13 but had to pay for any others we wanted. The pictures were soooo cute, but we didn't have the $ to buy any. For $200 we could by a disc with all of the images on it, as well as a copyright release allowing us to print as many pictures as we wanted, anywhere we chose. We are currently saving up to buy it.

Then, about 4 weeks or so ago, I realized that my favorite perfume, "Delicious" had been lost. Probably left at the hospital when Jacob was born. We called them, but they didn't have it. That is $40.

Well, when my birthday came, David didn't have a job, and we had almost NO money to spend.

David did give me $ to buy a shirt that I wanted for $10. ;-)

My Birthday was WONDERFUL! It started off with David dotting on me, and allowing me to have my way with EVERYTHING. Then, he went to the store to get my cake (that the Girls picked out) and groceries for dinner. We cleaned the house from top to bottom. Jacob was an Angel and slept in his swing while I cleaned. Elizabeth came home and told me that for my birthday, she had "Stayed Green" at school (in her class, each child starts each day with a green card. When they get in trouble, it gets turned to yellow, then red) At 5 pm, our friends, Foy and Ginger Wallace came over with their 3 girls for dinner. David had made my favorite dinner that is a tradition for my birthday and has been since I was about 10 yrs old. We then played a couple of games and had cake and Moose Tracks ice cream. YUMMY!

It cost next to nothing, and was one of the very best birthdays I have ever had!

Jacob's Blessing

We Blessed Jacob in Utah on Sept. 6th. It was a good experience. Many Friends were able to join us as well as David's Family and my extended Family including My Mom's Sister, April, and her Husband, Dann. Her Brother-in-law Steve, and his Daughter, Katie and his Mom, Anne. As well as one other cousin of mine, Michelle.

We were blessed to have David's Grandparents there. As well as his Parents, Siblings: Dan and his family, Deborah with her family, and Douglas.

We stayed through Tuesday the 8th.

When we left Utah, David was realitivly ill. He had a fever by the time we arrived home. I was about 12 hours behind him. Elysia, Abby, and Jacob all got sick as well. We all made a full recovery within about a week or so. We are thinking it was the new virus.... aka Swine Flu and are happy to possibly be over and done with it.

About a week before the blessing we reconnected with Chris and Marci Landon. We had met them in Colorado Springs Easter of 2004, and only knew them for 2 months before we moved back to Utah that May. We had only seen them once since then. They are great friends, and we have had a lot of fun with them and their 2 children.... and are excited to have many more adventures with them now that they are living in Utah!

Life since Jacob joined our family

I have been really bad at keeping up with this since Jacob was born. I will try really fast to hit on the highlights:

1st, Jacob's arrival.

Jacob was due August 2nd. However, with him being my 4th and Abby (my 3rd) coming 10 days early on her own and being the PERFECT delivery, we were expecting him as early as the 4th of July weekend. And I was really disappointed when i had to be induced 6 days before his due date.

On Monday, the 27th of July, David, Abby, and I drove to the hospital. I had pre registered, so it was just a matter of checking in. My mom was in town and had the 3 Girls with her. But we had wanted to spend one last night with our "Baby" so we kept Abby with us.

They started me on a Pitocin drip, and since I was positive for Group B Strep, they started the antibiotics. This was at 7 am. At 8, David took Abby to my mom. 9, the Dr came in to check me, and offered to break my water. When I got to the hospital, I was dialated to a 3, and about 60% effaced. At 12, I was about 70% effaced, and dialated to about a 5. Blah!!!!! At 12:30 the Dr .... well, the intern that was with her, broke my water. He had a hard time catching the sack, and it wasn't my favorite moment ;-). Within about 10 minutes, my contractions had become almost unbearable. I had gone from a 5 to an 8 and was almost 100% effaced. I asked for pain meds.... I had pre arranged to have a very light pain medication that is delivered IV, and just takes the edge off.... but David talked me into waiting through 3 more contractions before I INSISTED on the medication. It was supposed to be ready and waiting but took another 2 contractions for them to bring it. This was about 1:15 pm. At about 1:30 the Dr showed up (with the intern) and everything was set up for the arrival. The 1 problem was that Jacob had not really dropped. He was still at zero station. So unlike my other deliveries, I actually had to push him down the birth canal. At 1:58, Jacob arrived weighing in at 8 lbs. 1 oz. (my 2nd smallest Baby... Abby was 7 lbs. 15.6 oz.) He was BEAUTIFUL! Curly strawberry blonde hair. I asked how he was, and Starla (My Dr) said "He's perfect!" She wasn't exagerating. His Apgar scores were 9 and 10. They told me that perfect of a score is rare. His cord was tied in what they call a "True Knot" which means he was VERY active... and again is a very rare thing to see.

While I had pain meds with this delivery, they were not very strong, just enough to take the edge off, and only lasted about an hour. Nothing compared to an epidural, which made me proud of myself.... however, Abby came so quickly and easily, that I had NOTHING with her... So I was bummed about that.

The delivery was my hardest, because I had to push him down whereas My Girls were already at the opening when I started pushing. With both Elysia and Abby, it only took 2 contractions to deliver. Jacob was a LOT more ;-)

All in all, it went well. I was there for almost 8 hours, but only actually in labor for 1 1/2.

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Jacob is such a good Baby! I love him to death. I knew what to watch for and what my limits were this time, and have been able to avoid the "Baby Blues" on any significant level. It has helped that Jacob was a summer Baby and we have been able to get out a lot. With my Girls, it was winter, and we were stuck in doors.

Jacob was born "Coombs Positive" which means that he has David's blood type, and it is incompatible with mine. It causes severe jaundice while his body fight off my cells that have crossed with his during the delivery. It can also cause severe anemia resulting in the need for a transfusion. I was discharged Tues. He was not discharged for another 36 hours. We had to take him back to the hospital almost every day for the 1st 10 days to have his bili count taken, and actually had to get a light blanket for home.

The Jaundice finally went away by his 6 week check up just after Labor Day.

I have been able to exclusively nurse him, which is a first for me. They asked that I supplement with formula for the 1st 2 weeks to get him to excrete the bilirubin faster. However since then, he hasn't had a single bottle.

When Jacob was 1 month old exactly, David was fired from his job with Cameron International. That has REALLY sucked!!!!! However, we have seen numerous blessings in the past 2 months, and are no where near as stressed over the situation as we COULD be.

Our Heavenly Father has truly watched over and blessed us!

Jacob is such a joy to have around. For now, he is quite easy going, and enjoys watching his sisters. He loves to be where ever we are. He does well in his swing and ok in his boucy seat. He sleeps almost consistently when in his carseat.

At his 2 month check up, he was just over 12 lbs. He's still Beautiful.

Landmarks in his developement:

Day 1, July 27th, he could roll onto his side when he slept.

Day 9 , August 5th, he rolled from his belly to his back

September 7th, he smiled consciously

and last week.... October 26th, he laughed.

His sisters ADORE him, and help out soooo much!

I am definitely a better mother than I was when Elizabeth was a Baby. I can truly enjoy this time. And it's so much easier to stay calm when he's upset.

He sleeps in the playpen we bought when Abby was born, in our room. He has almost consitently slept from around midnight until 5 am. And just this past week, extended to going to sleep around 11 pm and sleeping until about 6 am. When he wakes for his early morning feeding, he comes into bed with us, and is there until I get up for the day. He is such a cuddler!!!

The Parable of the Diamond Ring

I don't know why I felt like I needed to share this. But I did.....
I believe very firmly not only that there is a God, but that we are his children. Literally. That his relationship to us is just as literal as mine with my biological children... but perfect. Here is a story about something that confirms that belief in me.
In 2008, David and I divorced. I was certain at that time that there was another Man, Jared, I was destined to share the rest of my life with (that is NOT why David and I divorced.) Jared and I had already looked into engagement rings, and had found the exact ring I have always wanted. When David and I married in 2002, he was a newly returned Missionary with no $, so I had to forego that luxury.
I felt very strongly that I should start making payments on the ring. Shortly after this, Jared and I called things off. I still felt that I should continue purchasing the ring. This led me to believe that things would eventually turn around and work out with Jared.
At the end of September, the ring was 1/2 way paid off and I realized that things were never going to work out between Jared and myself. But I felt that I still needed to continue paying on the ring.
Around the middle of October, I was surprised to see that David and I were at a point where we wanted to give our marriage another go. We went to look at the ring. He told me that if the ring didn't fit me so perfectly, he would want to trade it for a different one.... since it was the ring that had been selected with someone else. He paid off the ring and we were married 2 weeks later.
Here's the moral of this story: I believe God knew that things were going to eventually work out between David and me. He knew that even though I didn't NEED a new ring, I wanted one. And that I wanted a specific ring.... after all, I had an idea of exactly what I wanted when I was a teenager, and it had never changed. It was a luxury that I could have done without. But just as I enjoy giving in to my Children's wishes when there is a toy or something that they really want, I believe that God enjoys letting us have some of the "pretty" things WE want. All we have to do is give him the chance.
This example has helped me so much over the past year. It reminds me that sometimes it's ok to ask God for something we want... even if we don't necessarily NEED it. And that He cares about that just as much as we would if it were our Child asking for something. Because He's not just a Divine Being who controls the universe. He's a Parent. The Perfect Parent. Who not only loves His children, but loves and cares about us perfectly.