Is it just me?

I'm really glad that the only people who read this Blog are Women.

Am I the only one, who when I get the idea in my head that I want another Baby, and My Husband isn't really ready, and we don't have the room, and we don't have the job we need, is still disappointed the day those tale-tell signs of starting my period show up and I KNOW I'm not pregnant?

I think the thing that is the hardest right now is the struggle in my mind.... between my mind and heart as to whether or not we SHOULD have more. I want more DESPERATELY. The idea of never being pregnant again is hard for me right now. That to me tells me I'm not done. But some days having the four I have is so hard. I am so emotionally involved in them, that they emotionally and physically drain me DAILY. And I really don't want to be a parent who is spread so thin that they all suffer for it. I want to be able to have the ability to give them the attention and resources that they deserve.

So, it goes back to the waiting game. See what happens with David and a job, and us getting a house. Then..... we can worry about that.