My WORST fear

The other day (Sept 11th to be exact) David and I were talking. I had made it all day without getting too emotionally involved in the day. I mean, it was a TRAGEDY of epic proportions, but I was lucky enough to be 2000 miles away and NONE of my Family or Friends were directly affected by it.... except for those who were in the military and that was only through having to be deployed.... which still was HARD, but a different hard than dying or losing someone in the towers.

Any how....

When we sat down and were talking, he started telling me stories about things he'd seen on tv about that day. And they were detailed stories from people who were there .

TOO much!

Not because I can't handle it..... normally.

But because I take it in and personalize it.

What if there is a situation where MY CHILDREN are in a death trap like that?

That lead my thoughts to: What if we have a situation where I have to save My Children from a fire, or other life or death situation?

Then I start thinking: Maybe I shouldn't have another Baby because that means 1 more that I could lose track of, not be able to save in an emergency, or have in a death trap.

I am not a doomsday type.... normally. But I AM a "Be prepared for an emergency, Realist."

So, by the time the conversation was over, I was in tears.

My WORST fear is losing one of My PRECIOUS Children. I'm selfish when it comes to that. I know my heart would break so TOTALLY that recovering would be insanely impossible!