Biracial?

Today was an interesting day. I have had a hard time going to church the past few weeks because I just feel like I don't fit in. I wish I could spend ONE full day seeing myself through others'eyes. Just so I could see what it is I need to "fix" and what I don't need to worry about.

I must scare some people. Which is funny because I may be incredibly assertive, but I think I am generally pretty nice. I come on strong, but I mean no harm.

It didn't help that when I got to church today, I was starving. So, I took a chocolate muffin (my breakfast of choice of late) and a Mt Dew into the kitchen. And I felt like it may as well have been pot.

Then of course my Children for some reason, no matter HOW many times they are told, do not grasp that they can't yell, clap, throw tantrums, eat fruit snacks off of the floor, etc. during Sacrament Meeting. It just isn't polite. They get in trouble at home for these things (well, not the clapping or eating fruit snacks off of the floor ;-) why would it be ok there?

Now don't get me wrong. I believe WHOLE heartedly in the fundamental beliefs and principles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I will never become inactive, nor will I ever leave the church.

But I just struggle with the atmosphere created by some of the people there.

So, I get into Nursery, and Ivy and I start talking, and it just helped sooooo much. She got how frustrated I was with the "Wasatch Front" Mormons, as she calls them. (the ones who have a stick up their butt and are judgmental about anybody who isn't "perfect") I was also able to talk about my chocolate muffin addiction, as well as something Elysia had said this morning that was HILARIOUS. (though a lot of people would prolly not think so.)

One of the ways I would describe how I often feel is "Biracial." I don't fit in with the "Wasatch Front" Mormons, but I often don't fit in with the Non Mormons either.