I realized today that I am not the same person I was 9 months ago. THANK HEAVEN!!!!!
I am so strong. I know how to accomplish things. I actually KNOW how to put one foot in front of the other until I see results.
Today was an accomplishment kind of day. I took David to work, got all 4 kids ready and to playgroup with a full tank of gas. (I have a bad habit of putting it off, and sometimes running WAY too close to out) Took them ALL to the Dentist for E's appointment, and then to Wal mart for some "light" grocery shopping. Then we met Ginger and the Girls at the Rec Center.
(Since the day Jacob was born, I have been unwilling to attempt walmart without David.... at least with all 4 Children. SO that was actually HUGE for me!)
When we got home, David picked the first fight in weeks. And I simply REFUSED to get on board. He got pissed off, hit the steering wheel with his fists, and got out. I immediately switched to the drivers side, locked the doors (a necessary step when he is in one of his "moods") and LEFT. I just went. I drove around for a few minutes, and then got the Children home and in the house, bathed Jacob, calmed down, and called David. Who again wanted to start something. I again refused to fight with him. By the end of the hour, he was home, and life was on it's way once more.
One thing that I have struggled with is our laundry situation. It takes having a larger than average (more than one or two kids) I think to fully appreciate the laundry thing. Anyway, every time David and I fight, the laundry gets put off even more. NOT TONIGHT. I put one foot in front of the other, hiked up my big girl panties, and got more laundry done tonight than on an average day. This might not sound huge, but for me, it IS! It means that I have found away to move a mountain when I feel like crawling under it and letting it hide me for EVER!
This whole situation led me to realize a few things. A) I have a VERY "Glass is half full attitude." (which ironically is what pissed D off in the 1st place tonight)
B) D does NOT. He is very negative in certain situations. C) Marrying him was the biggest mistake I have EVER made. But D) It was also the BEST!
I truly believe that there was a reason why we moved so fast. I think God knew that if we hesitated, we would NEVER work out.
And for E of my realizations, I once again recognized a premonition. And now firmly believe that I get them on days when D is gonna start something, or there is a potential for trouble. Today, I really struggled with leaving my bed. And it was on a deeper level than normal.
Alas. Such is My Life. I still love it!
And F G and H on revelations: F) My Children went to bed tonight feeling loved and cared for.... and I KNOW this for a fact. And YES, it was because rather than get on board with D's pissiness, I focused in on the necessity of meeting THEIR needs, including making sure I did what I needed to in order to fix things with D, and get him here to co parent vs my doing it alone. We also sang song :-D.
G) My Children might act out, and disobey, but I know when all is said and done, they respect me and trust me. They fall in line pretty quickly and respond to me when they know I'mm not distracted by stupidity. They know I am a safe constant. That I have always and will always be their safety net. And H)Teaching them NOW that things always look brighter in the morning will prolly do WONDERS for them later.
There is a side to this that I rarely point out, but believe in and need to this time. When David is wearing a full set of garments, he is different than when he is not. Yes, I KNOW this to be true. There have been days when he can't find a garment top (undershirt) and will go without. These are the days when if a fight is initiated, it will go on for hours and end sourly. Tonight he was far more responsive than MANY times in the past. Take it how you will, I am a believer ;-)
And now, I am EXHAUSTED! And FULLY looking forward to Mom's Night In tomorrow! :-D
Meanwhile, I have rewarded myself with THREE chocolate doughnuts!
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3 comments:
Sorry, it was an exhausting day. I know I don't have the same problems with mounds of laundry as you do with my family being smaller, but some friends have about the same numbers as you. She has told me that she just does laundry everyday. Each day is for one certain person's laundry. moms is this day, dads this day, baby 1 this day etc etc and towels etc this day. Just an idea.
Thanks Deborah. I have tried that. Maybe I'll try it again :-) One of the BIGGEST problems I run into, is that I DO it every day.... but in order to knock out 50 loads, I have to do a minimum of 4 loads to actually make progress. (We go through an average of 3 loads a day so that's all the laundry for the day plus one) The laundry isn't such a big deal... I would rather spend time watching a movie with the Children than push to get the laundry done (as long as we have clothes and stuff clean) and that too is part of my problem. Plus, we have sooo much and it's all mixed together. I go through when I can and separate it into whites, reds, darks, etc. And... well, anyway. :-)
It would be a TON easier if I didn't have to take recoup days with David's mood swings :-)
Aright, I know I have said this before but David really needs medication because those moods swings aren't normal. I'm thinking bi-polar.
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